Hello, new member here 
20 years suffering, thinking it's all about just being strong and talking yourself out of all the pain ... only to learn very recently that no matter how strong, I need help. So lot's of healing to do but this post struck close to me ... about the people pleasing and being a caretaker. I have struggled with this big time and only now am realizing it is a side effect of Complex-PTSD. I give so much love and worry so much about making other people happy, go out of my way to do it, become a doormat for them to walk all over just to see them happy ... but it leaves me so lonely, sad, and depressed. I can't understand it or make sense of it. Why do I do it? Why can't I stop putting myself out there when I see someone does not care or appreciate? I am lucky to have some very good friends who do reciprocate my love but they are all my girlfriends. I have not dated much but the few men I have liked, it has been this relationship of where I right away commit all my love and energy to them even when they obviously do not care to reciprocate, only take. They take and take and I give and give .... I don't understand why I can't stop myself? I wonder is it lack of self-love?
20 years suffering, thinking it's all about just being strong and talking yourself out of all the pain ... only to learn very recently that no matter how strong, I need help. So lot's of healing to do but this post struck close to me ... about the people pleasing and being a caretaker. I have struggled with this big time and only now am realizing it is a side effect of Complex-PTSD. I give so much love and worry so much about making other people happy, go out of my way to do it, become a doormat for them to walk all over just to see them happy ... but it leaves me so lonely, sad, and depressed. I can't understand it or make sense of it. Why do I do it? Why can't I stop putting myself out there when I see someone does not care or appreciate? I am lucky to have some very good friends who do reciprocate my love but they are all my girlfriends. I have not dated much but the few men I have liked, it has been this relationship of where I right away commit all my love and energy to them even when they obviously do not care to reciprocate, only take. They take and take and I give and give .... I don't understand why I can't stop myself? I wonder is it lack of self-love?