Messages

Hi Kizzie,

Thanks for your reply to my post, and your affirmations. What you said about invalidating our own experiences by blaming ourselves for being weak and over sensitive really hits home, because this is what I have been telling myself lately. I have also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and I often feel I should just be able to suck it up and deal with the pain without complaint. But my somatic symptoms are probably tied in with the neurochemical changes that happen with years of abuse. Now that I know that complex PTSD is a very real thing that other people go through, I think it will be easier to combat the self-blaming thoughts. I am looking forward to "meeting" everyone

-Meezette

Hi, I am 28 years old and am currently completing a graduate degree in Occupational therapy. Over the years Ive collected about 7 mental health diagnoses, including social anxiety, OCD, ADHD, and panic disorder. However, I knew there was still much more going on, but I didn't know what. These diagnoses didn't explain my pathological fear of rejection, my avoidance of relationships, my explosive reactivity to certain triggers, my experiences of dissociation, etc. Recently, my psychiatrist started suspecting ptsd... but I don't feel that diagnoses quite fits. I've always thought that there was no way I could have ptsd, because the trauma I experienced didn't seem nearly as bad as what others have gone through. I've never been in war, was never sexually abused, and I didn't even fully realized I'd experienced trauma until I started learned about the impacts of childhood toxic stress. My father (later diagnosed with schizo affective disorder and narcissistic/borderline pd) may physically and emotionally abusive, parenting with an authoritarian/totalitarian style. As well, I was intensely bullied at school (Which I dropped out of in grade . All of these things didn't really seem that bad when I compared my history to people who have been raped or abused sexually.
I just started emdr at a friends recommendation. .. my guess is that in my next session, my therapist will confirm my suspicion that I have complex ptsd.
So I just wanted to introduce myself and share my story.