I'm clearly new here...but I'm not new to CPTSD symptoms, or CPTSD controlling a lot of my life. When a friend mentioned today to look for online support groups, it felt like just another way someone was trying to push me off onto someone else...often times the trauma is too much and they don't know what to do. It's not their fault any more than it's my fault, but it sucks none-the-less.
So, I said I would look, and here I am. I'll admit I'm unsure of this whole thing. I've been trapped on paper my whole life, without people to talk to, so...how is this different? I'm still stuck on hypothetical paper, here, on this forum, without any of the people in my life by my side while I'm hurting. They do their best, but as I'm sure you all know, it's not easy to walk alongside someone with CPTSD. So, I just talk about my feelings here and get comfort because I'm "not alone?" I know I'm not the only one out there, but how is this supposed to help me feel less alone? I'm still sitting here, alone, crying, in my living room...how is typing on this forum supposed to change any of that? I'm thankful it seems to help so many of you, but am I wrong to just want a real-life, next-to-me-through-it-all, person in my life? I have amazing people in my life, I'm just tired to being "too much" because of what I've been through...It's exhausting. I'm done being the burden among my friends. I'm not mocking any of this, PLEASE do not hear that - I am thankful, truly thankful, you have all found something that helps you...just not sure what I'm doing here.
So, I said I would look, and here I am. I'll admit I'm unsure of this whole thing. I've been trapped on paper my whole life, without people to talk to, so...how is this different? I'm still stuck on hypothetical paper, here, on this forum, without any of the people in my life by my side while I'm hurting. They do their best, but as I'm sure you all know, it's not easy to walk alongside someone with CPTSD. So, I just talk about my feelings here and get comfort because I'm "not alone?" I know I'm not the only one out there, but how is this supposed to help me feel less alone? I'm still sitting here, alone, crying, in my living room...how is typing on this forum supposed to change any of that? I'm thankful it seems to help so many of you, but am I wrong to just want a real-life, next-to-me-through-it-all, person in my life? I have amazing people in my life, I'm just tired to being "too much" because of what I've been through...It's exhausting. I'm done being the burden among my friends. I'm not mocking any of this, PLEASE do not hear that - I am thankful, truly thankful, you have all found something that helps you...just not sure what I'm doing here.