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Messages - willowlater

#1
Dating; Marriage/Divorce; In-Laws / Re: He didn't run!!!
February 12, 2017, 01:08:10 AM
That's so nice to hear, and gives me hope I may find that one day too. I agree with sanmagic7 about going slow. It's important to recognize that you are deserving of someone who loves and cares for you no matter what happened to you in the past, and don't let negative self-talk cause doubts about this guy. However, those of us who struggle with cPTSD have a tendency to struggle with boundaries, and while it's amazing how supportive he was of your brief description, revealing too much this early on may end up making you feel too vulnerable and him too overwhelmed.

I've had similar situations in the past where someone is initially very open-minded and supportive, and I took that as an invitation to let it all spill out. Even the most supportive, kind, and understanding person can get emotionally overwhelmed. I think about how long it took me to come to grips with what happened in my past (and even the time I spent experiencing it and growing up knowing nothing else), and then imagine what it must feel like to hear someone you care about lay it all out at once (or over a relatively short period). Most people have never dealt with it and lack the coping skills to do so.

It sounds like a great start though, and it's awesome that you're taking the time to think through the next step :)
#2
Hi, I'm also new here and am definitely with you on the stress relief of cancelling plans. I've gotten better about it over the years, but for a while it got to the point where my closest friends would stop inviting me to things because they figured I wouldn't come, or got frustrated by the lack of following through on commitments.

I'm at a point in my treatment where it's tough to balance avoiding the "patient" role with times when I genuinely feel too overwhelmed to leave the apartment. I don't like having them think of me as a flake, but I also am reluctant to play the anxiety card (for lack of a better phrase).

Does anyone else struggle with this? I also have a tendency to get paranoid and preoccupied with negative feelings others may have towards me, which may exacerbate the situation when I cancel. So I always feel relieved to be staying home, but definitely get anxious about how other people view it

WeFallToRiseAgain, everything else you wrote really resonates with me as well. Boundary issues, high alert, terrified of the dark. Misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother for the first 13 years of my life, and its taken 11 years since then to get to a point where I feel I deserve to live (10 years of therapy, now almost three years of intensive inpatient/outpatient treatment). It's a long process, but writing about it here is a great step forward