Messages

tho all those freebie conferences I post are full of methods of self-regulation, I'd just need to actually do them regularly.

I'm in a much better state of self-acceptance than at the time I wrote this and in fact than generally. This means that among other things I'm fully accepting myself for not doing any methods of self-regulation regularly. The reason behind my self-acceptance: when I am able, I will do it. OR possibly if it were the most useful method atm, I would be doing it.

Pretty radical self-acceptance for me. The above may not be the answer for everybody but it is for me atm.

Welcome to the forum, Cinclearly

I'm emotionally rather tired, but I want to let you know I've read your post, even though I can't really respond to it as it deserves! I'll see if I can manage in a few days. It's mostly validation rather than own experiences.

It sounds rather lame to say I literally don't know what to do with teenage NK, but the fact remains I don't so I have to feel my way here.

Not lame at all! That's what it felt like for me too when my Inner Teens (actually incl. an 11 yo) started showing up. I had NO idea what to do or say, no idea except re-surfacing memories of my own past which were clearly not useful or viable. Plus my Inner Children were frightened of the Inner Teens.

One thing that helped me was reading books on parenting daughters successfully from pre-teens upward, especially pre-teens because that sets the course. It's not that I then was able to talk my Inner Teens through much I don't think, but in my own mind things started to shift a bit. Those inner voices from FOO became less virulent as I was able to slowly take other ideas on board.

My initial idea on how to lighten the load of teenage NK was to ask her to step back and let me prove myself capable. T pointed out that was just pushing her out of the way.

  It took me a lot of trial and error (and reading) to get better at communicating with my Inner Teens. Sending you lots of good thoughts and wishes from somebody who's still on that road...

I saw this thread today and wonder how you're doing Phoebes

I just want to let you know that i read most of your post (skimmed a few triggering bits), and I'm sorry you went through all this.

Don't ever worry about your experiences not being enough to be on a particular board. Most of us on OOTS have been through that in our thoughts, often for months/years - the abuse wasn't enough to 'count', nothing bad 'enough' happened to give us cptsd etc. It's not true. Otherwise we wouldn't all be here with all these symptoms. Yours sounds plenty bad enough to me, I'm sorry.

Good on you for being able to see it a bit differently now DF, in a way less critical of yourself  

And of course 'having needs' doesn't equal 'being needy'!

Well done you, DF

Teenage NK was very much around, since we were discussing her, and she flat out told T she is angry at being asked to suggest the right answers because that just adds more plates for her to spin. This is no doubt progress in terms of expressing vulnerability, but it felt very uncomfortable. To say the least.

I hear you. I have found in the past that sometimes just waiting a bit will bring about a change. So something may evolve a little in/with/for a Part and then things will feel less uncomfortable.

Recently with various Parts I've also found they either needed me to say "i hear you" or to acknowledge the feelings they'd been holding. Probably you know that all already, NK.   

Congrats on the new apartment 
Hope things are working out better and easier with new provider than you might have feared.

Prescriptions for meds paid for!

Today I read that the problem is possibly that I'm still so disregulated neurologically. I've been taught a lot of co-regulation and of course practised that over the years  but not so much self-regulation, tho all those freebie conferences I post are full of methods of self-regulation, I'd just need to actually do them regularly.

"maybe it's OK to rage too a bit??"

100%!
My preferred arrangement is to wop a fluffy blanket with my old badminton racquet, which makes a satisfying whistle through the air... arms sore and much relieved afterwards.
I say, let it flow

I'm glad that works for you, but unfortunately it doesn't for me. Without an ally and witness, my energy drops very quickly and I go into an inner child in pain.

but i can be proud of what i did accomplish in that time, and i hope you can do the same for you.  well done!  love and hugs

Unfortunately I'm not too good at being proud of self in this state. ICr gets going 

Thank you all, NK, san and Hope

Unfortunately that didn't last too long. Slept most of yesterday. I was tired, having finally thoroughly tidied and cleaned my bedroom the day before   (except for the tops of 2 smaller bits of furniture and the window.) Still, it's a massive difference!

Today's difficult too. It's noon and I haven't made it permanently out of bed yet, just keep going back. Have back ache too, lying in bed is not helping!