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Messages - Blueberry

#1
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Today at 01:36:41 PM
Wow, san! Your story of the Beatles and then the Stones  :party:  :yourock:  :boogie:

Quote from: sanmagic7 on Today at 01:31:16 PMno anxiety last nite, and i slept all nite, got close to 8 hrs.  feel pretty good this morning.  and that's a weird feeling, but i'll make do!  lol!

Wonderful!  :cheer:  :cloud9:  :hug:
#2
For me, joy is often a fleeting and very spontaneous emotion. I don't mind that it's fleeting. When I spontaneously smile or feel as if I'm radiating within, that's often brought about by joy.

For me, it's usually small things that bring joy: watching cute animals or birds and insects in the garden, seeing the first flowers of spring, seeing a flower still blooming in November, somebody spontaneously smiling at me especially a child, the sun coming through the clouds, talking to my own pets when I still had some, singing with others, looking at certain colours like certain blues and greens, colouring in using yellow and orange. I agree with Chart and NK that what gives one person joy is quite personal, so my examples are just that - what works for me. Your joys might be quite different.

I wrote a book of daily joys a good few years ago and that was really useful to have me dwelling on feeling joy even if just for a few minutes a day.

I think contentment is a really good state of being/mind to aim for. When I'm feeling contented, I think it's a longer-drawn out emotion than the spontaneous joy at the things I listed above. It's not so intense as joy, maybe that's why joy is fleeting for me, maybe I couldn't handle an intense feeling over a longer time without dissociating or something.
#3
In this moment I feel JOY at something accomplished and JOY with that accomplishment being in line with one of my values: generosity and giving to those in need
#4
Successes, Progress? / Re: Setting boundaries
December 01, 2025, 06:55:53 PM
Good for you, LadyBoar, well done!  :cheer:
#5
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery Journal
November 28, 2025, 10:43:17 PM
Quote from: Desert Flower on November 27, 2025, 08:08:47 AMI really just wanna hybernate.
I really get this, DF!  :hug:  :hug:  to you. On the surface you seem to be dealing with more IRL than I am too. Tho I know that comparing isn't specially helpful, especially not towards myself in this instance.

In fact, I have been doing a lot of hibernation recently.
#6
Friends / Re: Dropping Everyone Like Flies
November 28, 2025, 10:34:23 PM
I know this is a very old thread and also that Phoebes hasn't been around for a while. However it's easier for me to respond here than set up a new thread, tho if you happen to come back on Phoebes and want me to make a separate thread, just say so and I will!

Quote from: Blueberry on July 12, 2021, 05:10:27 PMI feel as if my friends are dropping me like flies ;D and I'm actually OK with that. If they think I'm that unhealthy emotionally-speaking without noticing their own character flaws...

Possibly my friends and acquaintances feel as if I'm dropping them like flies atm? I'm turning into a recluse partly due to shame about what I've made out of my life by this stage of the game, with that I often feel very different. 55 yo, can't work anymore, going on 80yo kind of thing. But feel too young to join in activities for seniors so hide at home.

I also find contacting people more strenuous than I used to and I do notice their character flaws / unhealthy behaviour emotionally-speaking. But maybe that's just 'normal' and I should put up with it to have some friends? Oh there's that 'should' again. But if I do put up with it for a while, I tend to go into shutdown. It's lonely here though. So, I no longer feel OK about dropping others like flies or them dropping me, or whatever is going on exactly. Tho otoh I do NOT like being with people who make assumptions about me, without knowing and without giving me a chance to say: "No. Not true." To be clear, I also notice my own unhealthy behaviour emotionally-speaking and my character flaws, but they seem a given for people around me, as in of course BB is all messed up. 
#7
Thank you for bringing this up, TheBigBlue. Language does matter! Shaming us doesn't help, except to maybe help those who shame us. They can feel all healthy, and smug.

Kizzie, I appreciate the response of your son and his fellow students!
#8
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery Journal
November 24, 2025, 11:57:31 PM
 :hug:  :hug: to you Desert Flower
#9
Welcome to the forum  :heythere:

I hope you find this place as supportive as I have over the years.
#10
Welcome to the forum, TheBigBlue :heythere:
#11
Free Encore Weekend starting Sat. 22 November at 7am Eastern Time and running for 48 hours. Idk if you can still sign up or if it's just for people already signed up, who will receive an email with the link on Saturday. You probably still can though because the hosts are into selling permanent access and the speakers' books and programs - that's the reason for an Encore Weekend, they're not doing it 'just to be nice'.
#12
1) The sun is shining again

2) I put one of my prisms up in the window a couple of weeks ago and I enjoy seeing all the big and little rainbows appearing on my walls

3) I collected a load of apples and pears from an elderly friend who has too much garden fruit for his own usage and is very happy for it to be taken and used by people who appreciate it
#13
1) The sun is shining

2) Snow lying in gardens and on fields, but not on the roads.

3) I've been putting items to sell on the Internet classifieds, after practising copying photos from my camera onto my hard-drive with OT this morning. It's a good feeling of purpose and accomplishment.
#14
I've heard a few interesting talks so far. Today there was one with an exercise in self-compassion, which made me feel calmer.
#15
This was disappointing. Generally I like Alex Howard's stuff, but idk it seemed he and Diane P.H. were wasting time,a bit. Or I'm not as patient as I used to be :Idunno:  Plus the last 15-20 minutes were all about trying to sell their upcoming series that you have to pay for. Oh well.