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It's certainly irritating, but I can't say I didn't expect it, that's what happens with free mental health services. You are right, I should certainly give it a try. The last time I was with this service I saw a lovely therapist for my initial assessment, and then was due to be assigned to someone else for the treatment, I imagine this is probably going to be the case again so I'll try not to worry too much about him.

I'm sure I'll be here plenty in the time before the appt, but I will definitely fill you in on events once I've had it. I've already gathered some very helpful information from this site about inner child therapy, I had never even heard of it before and I must say it makes a lot of sense. I'm not entirely convinced it would work for me, but it's certainly something I would be open to trying, so that's another direction that I have open to me!

Hi SanMagic,

Thank you so much for all of that, it's actually very helpful to see all of that. None of those are things that I would have thought of and I will definitely mention them to the therapist in my next appointment on Monday. Unfortunately I've had some bad news today that my trauma appointment isn't until 28th April. I was told back in November that the waiting list was until March, and it left me very distressed. This just feels like another setback, like there's always longer to wait, whilst in the meantime I continue to get more unwell. Also, they have assigned me a male therapist, this is not good. I already know it is highly unlikely I will be able to relax and speak my mind, but I am also conflicted as I don't want to have to wait any longer to see a female. I'm going to give them a call tomorrow and see what my options are. I'm trying to stay optimistic, and your words have certainly helped me to feel like there is hope. I will likely continue reading everyone's posts and taking in the advice given, it is already very helpful for me to see so many that think like me.

Thank you also Three Roses, I will certainly give that a read on an evening where I feel a little more focused. Even your summary of it has made me smile though, as I often wonder what kind of person I would be had I not experienced my traumas as a child, so it's good to know it's not too late for my brain to sort itself out!

Hi everyone.

I have just discovered this forum and am hoping I will be able to utilise it as somewhere to talk with people who understand me (lord knows I haven't found any yet!).

I was diagnosed about 18 months ago with complex PTSD, and decided at the time that I was not ready to go ahead with treatment. I thought I could cope on my own and it wasn't the right time in my life to start stirring things up again. However in the past 6 months I've been on a rapid decline and a few weeks ago found myself suicidally depressed. I went to my GP who put me on antidepressants and tried to push my mental health referral along. I am still waiting to see the Trauma service again, and yesterday started seeing a general mental health practioner.

I can't exactly say it went well. She kept reminding me that she was not a Trauma worker and looking very traumatised herself with what I was saying! She also kept asking what I wanted from the service...I really don't know. I want to get better, I don't want to feel suicidal any more.

I'm just wondering if anyone can enlighten me on what I should expect from therapy or really what support/self help I can be seeking whilst I wait to start my real trauma therapy with the right team. Because at this moment in time it feels like a never ending battle with my own brain and I am honestly losing hope that I can ever get better.

Thanks for listening.