Messages

I have discussed the idea over the last 16 years whether ot not to write about my past and my recovery. I have met with an English teacher in college who was moved by my essays about my personal experiences to the point that they are my main inspiration to actually write all my my experiences with the development of my cptsd and recovery.

I know as all of you that it is a life long process but my hope is to encourage others who are in the dark or denial to come forward and seek support and recovery. So many people have been affected by so much and to know that there is hope to remake who you are and not stay stuck in the past is inspiring to many, at least that's what others have told me.                                     

Honestly I don't know if my paren't has npd either but I don't know what else to use in terms of words to describe how they alienated me from my entire family including my brothers and sister and they became their monkeys. My family refuses to talk to me about past stuff and hear my side of things because you know my parent couldn't possibly be a liar or anything it's all my fault for like everything.

Thank you guys for being supportive. When I say sit with my negative emotions I mean for like maybe 10 to 15 minutes I hold my negative thoughts (written on a piece of paper) in front of me and try to unconditionally love the person that is feeling them i.e. myself and tell myself it's ok to cry and those feelings are ok and just, well self love I guess.

Omg I had no idea psoriasis was stressed induced. I knew it is an autoimmune disease. Now I know why I got it.

I have cptsd from loads of childhood trauma. I recently moved out of my npd parents place to start a life of my own. I tried all the communication techniques my therapist suggested with my parent to try and work with them but the constant lies about the past and blatant denial of what they did and enabled to happen to me would not stop. So I left and am trying to trickle down my exposure to them until I have no contact. I still feel like I'm the one being a jerk for wanting no contact with my dysfunctional family.

It's also still very hard to find the time to sit with my negative feelings about the past and process them. Cbt really has helped a lot and it's going to be a long road to get where I would like to be, hopefully not so triggered and hyper vigalant.