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I can relate to the difficulty you are facing. My husband and I are in a similar situation. I have explained to him many times that his drinking triggers my ptsd from being abused by an alcoholic father- yet he won't stop. When I get triggered from his drinking things spiral out of control. I lose it- scream and have even slapped him on numerous occasions. After it's all over I feel terrible and so drained that I have to go lie in bed for hours. It brings up a lot of flashbacks- but also a tremendous amount of shame that I cannot control myself. These episodes make me have a lot of resentment towards him and they make me hate myself because I cannot maintain control. We have tried therapy but it is not working so far. We don't have sex anymore and I am sad and depressed or angry most of the time. It's good to know that I am not the only person who has these feelings. Thank you for sharing. I hope things will get better for you. If anyone has advice on how they control their ptsd when thier spouse trigggers them- it would be appreciated.