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Even though I am nervous about reading posts, the title of yours got to me because I describe myself as "frozen" a lot, so I checked it out.  And then I read this:

My syndrome presents mostly as being avoidant, isolated, and major issues coping with people -- especially those who represent some form of "authority" .. hence the issues I have with finances, health and employers. Basically every foundational aspect of life.

We could be twins on this bit right here, I'm sorry to say.  Truly knocked me out to read almost exactly what I've written about like this.

I was almost literally bound to my parental unit (who was/is also very similar to how you've described yours are) for 31 years.  I can relate to being stuck as you've written you are.

I'm no longer bound.  At least, not exactly - we are no longer in each other's space and lives. 

I'm sorry that you are stuck as you are and I hope that you won't have to continue to be for long.  Healing yourself always has to take a back seat when you're in survival mode, doesn't it?  May you be free and be able to start to heal soon.

Thank you for the welcomes and comments.  Upon rereading what I wrote last night, I can tell when the meds started kicking in.  Ha.

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Three Roses, sometimes I really want to tell my therapist to stuff it.  I have these daydreams where I just say an "I'm done" thing and walk out the door and there's music playing in the background - something like the theme to Chariots of Fire, maybe.  Here's the rub, though.  She's literally the only one in my area who has the expertise in PTSD treatment and who takes Medicaid.  It's the whole "beggars can't be choosers" stuff. 

Good luck on getting back to store-ing.  I know how hard that is.

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Blueberry,  Thank you for the compliment on my name.  It was exactly that play on words.  I am a fan of a good daisy.

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Thank you, Hope66.  I hope I can find the full courage to find some footing here and feel less alone.  Last night (and tonight) might end up being a blip.  I hope not, though.

I'm Daisy.  Only I'm not.  Screen name and all that.  It's a trust thing, isn't it?

I was DXed with CPTSD about 15 years ago, but first it was general PTSD and then CPTSD.  At the same time, I was battling physical symptoms of something - much like with the psych DX, first they said it was one thing, then another, then another.  Currently, the thinking is that I have conversion disorder that goes with the psych stuff.

My trauma history is massive and...well,...complex.  (Ha.)  All the categories of abuse - mainly emotional and psychological abuse from several members of the nuclear family when I was a child, multiple medical traumas, sexual assaults, physical abuse in first relationship as a teen, extreme bullying in school which led me to quit, natural disasters, homelessness both as a child twice and as an adult (with children) twice...I was a victim of kidnapping as a child...let's see...constant, endless situations involving shaming and dehumanization in dealing with "the system", addiction in the family, okay, so pretty much you name it - outside of physical torture. 

I've spent the last 25 years seeking quality therapy.  My current therapist specializes in EMDR and I've been seeing her for almost three years.  I don't like her all that much, but I'm on Medicaid and so...not a lot of options.

I am on medication for stress and anxiety.

Just trying to write this "introduction" brought on stress tension and anxiety, so I dosed up. 

I'm not sure why I'm here.  I can't do people.  Certainly not IRL (except with my spouse and kids), but even online connections have proved tough for me.  Still.  I think I just want to feel less alone.  No one I know can relate to what I go through.  No one I know really knows how to deal with me.  I don't even know how to deal with me most days. 

Other than basic weekly trips to the grocery (a place with which I'm very familiar) and the occasional trip out with my oldest friend (which is never fun no matter how much fun it is), I go nowhere.  I don't drive and live in quite a small, remote place. 

Going on 20 years with my partner. 

I'm alone a lot.

I don't know what else to write here.  I'm afraid to read too many things on the boards out of fear of being triggered or even just generally upset by the over-empathic compass that seems to drive me.  I feel everything.  Too often and too much.

I write poetry sometimes.  I eat like a Hobbit.  I am drowning in shame and self-loathing.  I feel like I'm hardly ever listened to.  I have a twisted sense of humor.  I love British history and culture.  I have too many interests and too many triggers.

My therapist is probably going to be upset that I joined a site like this.  She gets wiggy over things sometimes and I never know what and I never know why.  I wish I had a better therapist.

Anyway, we'll see what, if anything, comes from this. 

If anyone read this, thanks for doing so.