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Thrive. I like that word from woodsgnome's post. I think that is what we need to strive for.  In my opinion, our experiences have most likely changed us from who we would have been without them but we can't go back and change the experiences. So the word "cure" is misleading. We will always be survivors and we can all be thrivers. I have found that gratitude is extremely helpful. Focusing on what is good in my world as opposed to what is not can really change your outlook. Try listing 5 things that you are thankful for each night before falling asleep. When I first started this, it was extremely difficult to come up with 5 things. I would think, I'm thankful that person smiled at me." Or " I'm thankful that I had enough money to buy toilet paper." Whatever little specific thing I could possibly come up with. Someone had challenged me to try this and I did experience massive change in my life. I now challenge you to give it a try. The key is to be thankful for specific, not general, things. Keep it up for a few months. It can't hurt so why not?, !
That being said, I do still have difficulty but the gratitude, and meds, keep it in check. So while a so called "cure" might not be feasible, I think we can focus on who we are right now and who we want to be.

I find myself dancing around the house when I'm coming out of an episode. Very infrequently, I have major flip outs. Then I go through a period of extreme depression, guilt and shame about my actions.  I know I'm getting better when I start dancing. Or also, just feeling like I want to do things.

[Trigger Warning]

Trigger Warning

I'm going to list traumatic instances throughout my life.  Please advise on whether  or not complex trauma may be something I should ask my doctor about. I have never done very well in therapy as it seems hopeless. Maybe if I could find a therapist that had experience with complex it might be more successful. Here goes: (don't read if you fear experiencing trigger).

*abandoned by father at birth
*raised by alcoholic step-father
*remember walking on eggshells being afraid to upset him
*remember some physical abuse but mostly hearing my brother scream. My brother reports the reverse.
*remember unexpected anger outbursts that frightened me.
*remember only one incident that was inappropriate making out with step-dad-do not recall others- approximately 10 years old
*experienced ongoing visits to urologist for treatment of a medical condition. Each time I was held down and catheterized which burned as they stretched my urethra. This was medically necessary. Lasted until I was 14.
*parents divorced and mother was emotionally unstable for some time. Left during week to work and live in city while children home ages 18, 16 (me), and 13.
* after causing trouble that my mom couldn't handle, was sent to live with biological father.
*ran pretty wild as bio dad had no clue
*became pregnant at 15. Wanted to keep baby but couldn't find support. Had abortion at 4 months
*returned home but continued with previous lifestyle.
* moved again
*moved again
*became pregnant at 16 moved to live with the father and his parents.
*childs father was a cocaine addict and alcoholic.
*received phone call that he had raped a friend of mine.
*took him to treatment where they encouraged me to work with him and keep our family together. Didn't last long and we split but I didn't have access to $ for divorce.
*6 months later broke into my home, held me captive for hours, continually raping and abusing me. He was out of his mind and I thought he was going to kill me.
*i escaped but the aftermath was even worse.  The trial was well publicized and everyone in my small town knew exactly what had happened as the newspaper printed everything, all the gory details.
*at the age of 6, my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. I was 23. Cared for her all on my own but had to quit job and go on welfare.
*continued with my education but took 8 years to get my bachelors.
*during that time, had a child with a man I thought I was in love with but he turned out to be very emotionally abusive
*the child we had together had major behavioral issues and I was not given any help
*after remarrying a great guy, thought life was improving but child,s behavioral issues increased while I was still dealing with 1st child's medical needs.
*had 3rd child and suffered major postpartum depression lasting 9 months to a year.
*had to send 2nd child away for violent behavioral issues
*this was the "straw that broke the camel's back"
*went through few years of major depression and anxiety. 2 suicide attempts. In patient and out patient hospital stays

So I have never put all of this in one place before. Add I didn't even include everything.  While one of these instances might not cause trauma disorders it seems that the continued exposure to various types is causing great difficulty for me.
Any advice on how to attack this would be helpful.