Memory issues began about 6 years ago. Prior to that, I had superb memory.
I first noticed it when I began waking in the morning and could no longer recall my dream. It would just evaporate. Prior to this, I had excellent dream recall. Now, today, this happens with my own thoughts and with other people's words. My boss could be explaining a new protocol to me, and no matter how hard I focus, I know that I will not be able to retain the information. I often cannot finish my own sentences when speaking (I will forget my logic or train of thought). I forget important events and plans. I often cannot hold one thing, let alone three pieces of information in my brain.
I also experience other strange changes. My spelling ability went from excellent to average. I often forget the names of things. When writing, I will put letters in the wrong order. I also seem to store information in disconnected ways. It makes forming friendships difficult, because the next time I see a person, I do not recall our past conversations or experiences (until sometime later when I suddenly remember). I also place items in strange places (putting salt in my fridge, refrigerated items in the freezer, etc.). I could go on and on. More recently, I've had random, seemingly lighthearted memories popping into my mind often. Its as though they come out of nowhere and makes it feel to me that my brain is really disorganized or that some strange reorganization or disorganization process is occurring in my brain.
Does anyone know what causes this? Is this reversible? Do I need to grieve and accept that this is the new me? It's embarrassing and hindering and scary. I went to see a neuropsych doctor who performed memory tests. She told me that it was very inconsistent (sometimes my scores were alarmingly low, and then on the next test they would be in the 99th percentile). She attributed this all to possible ADHD. I am not your stereotypical picture of ADHD, and I'm 34, so if I do have it, it would likely be adult onset (given that I didn't used to have any of these problems.
Both of my parents have terrible memories, in different ways. My father is more the extremely forgetful type, and my mother has a more relational, disconnected forgetting. For instance, the last time she visited me, she was encouraging her son (my brother) to drink pineapple juice. He is allergic to it, and she seemed to completely forget that and then be stunned (like deer in the headlights) when we reminded her that he is allergic. I see myself becoming like them both, memory-wise. I fear that it could be DID or schizophrenia even. I don't know what to do about it. Doctors brush my concerns aside, mostly. Anyone have similary experience? I'd love to hear. Anyone have any thoughts or insight?
I first noticed it when I began waking in the morning and could no longer recall my dream. It would just evaporate. Prior to this, I had excellent dream recall. Now, today, this happens with my own thoughts and with other people's words. My boss could be explaining a new protocol to me, and no matter how hard I focus, I know that I will not be able to retain the information. I often cannot finish my own sentences when speaking (I will forget my logic or train of thought). I forget important events and plans. I often cannot hold one thing, let alone three pieces of information in my brain.
I also experience other strange changes. My spelling ability went from excellent to average. I often forget the names of things. When writing, I will put letters in the wrong order. I also seem to store information in disconnected ways. It makes forming friendships difficult, because the next time I see a person, I do not recall our past conversations or experiences (until sometime later when I suddenly remember). I also place items in strange places (putting salt in my fridge, refrigerated items in the freezer, etc.). I could go on and on. More recently, I've had random, seemingly lighthearted memories popping into my mind often. Its as though they come out of nowhere and makes it feel to me that my brain is really disorganized or that some strange reorganization or disorganization process is occurring in my brain.
Does anyone know what causes this? Is this reversible? Do I need to grieve and accept that this is the new me? It's embarrassing and hindering and scary. I went to see a neuropsych doctor who performed memory tests. She told me that it was very inconsistent (sometimes my scores were alarmingly low, and then on the next test they would be in the 99th percentile). She attributed this all to possible ADHD. I am not your stereotypical picture of ADHD, and I'm 34, so if I do have it, it would likely be adult onset (given that I didn't used to have any of these problems.
Both of my parents have terrible memories, in different ways. My father is more the extremely forgetful type, and my mother has a more relational, disconnected forgetting. For instance, the last time she visited me, she was encouraging her son (my brother) to drink pineapple juice. He is allergic to it, and she seemed to completely forget that and then be stunned (like deer in the headlights) when we reminded her that he is allergic. I see myself becoming like them both, memory-wise. I fear that it could be DID or schizophrenia even. I don't know what to do about it. Doctors brush my concerns aside, mostly. Anyone have similary experience? I'd love to hear. Anyone have any thoughts or insight?