Messages

Your upbringing sounds worse than mine. I too become obsessive over people who treat me well. Especially men. And your relationship with your sister is not at all peculiar. I try not to even talk to my siblings. They abused me and didnt give a damn about me when we were growing up so why now would they want me? And your mom is typical of an abusive parent. They almost never admit fault and expect you to love them despite their abuse. The concept of earning love/trust is something that they never consider. Both my parents were neglectful but my dad was worse. Now he wants to come back when im 22 and demand I be in a relationship with him. Extremely emotionally manipulative. Don't do it unless you want to. If you are not in a position to forgive right now then they can go * themselves until you are. No one has the right to tell you when to heal. Also, you dont have to be completely * up for life. The longer you work on it the better you get. I am way less * up them I used to be but I owe all of my progress to my creator. Not here to sell you on my religion just saying without it my life would literally be *.

I feel the same way. So many of my childhood is just a general feeling. Sometimes I will remember things that I forgot about years ago or someone will be telling about an incident that I know nothing about. But they will claim that I was there. Most of y vivid memories seem to be traumatic. Even now my memory is poor.