Hi bagels,
First of all, I just want to tell you that no one ever deserves to be called the names your ex called you. Even if your medical conditions have been draining and scary for your ex to live with, that doesn't give him the right to insult you and absolutely doesn't give him the right to hurt or intimidate you physically.
I think you did the right thing leaving him, based on my own experience with an ex who abused me. Like your ex, he said he wanted to treat me better and work on our relationship, but he wasn't willing to follow through, no matter how much work I put in to find helpful resources. In the end, he was only putting up a helpful front to try to convince me to stay. Over on the Out of the Fog forum, there's an article on a behavior called hoovering - here's a link. Hoovering is one method abusers sometimes use to regain control of victims who are showing signs of sticking up for themselves or possibly leaving, and it can include making promises they don't intend to keep. If you're interested, take a look at the article and see if it seems to apply to your relationship.
You are not a bad person. If you're here on this forum, I suspect you might know that deep down inside. I'm sorry for what you've been through, and I hope you're able to find the support you're looking for here.
First of all, I just want to tell you that no one ever deserves to be called the names your ex called you. Even if your medical conditions have been draining and scary for your ex to live with, that doesn't give him the right to insult you and absolutely doesn't give him the right to hurt or intimidate you physically.
I think you did the right thing leaving him, based on my own experience with an ex who abused me. Like your ex, he said he wanted to treat me better and work on our relationship, but he wasn't willing to follow through, no matter how much work I put in to find helpful resources. In the end, he was only putting up a helpful front to try to convince me to stay. Over on the Out of the Fog forum, there's an article on a behavior called hoovering - here's a link. Hoovering is one method abusers sometimes use to regain control of victims who are showing signs of sticking up for themselves or possibly leaving, and it can include making promises they don't intend to keep. If you're interested, take a look at the article and see if it seems to apply to your relationship.
You are not a bad person. If you're here on this forum, I suspect you might know that deep down inside. I'm sorry for what you've been through, and I hope you're able to find the support you're looking for here.