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Hello,

I'm new here. I knit recently learned I had this but it makes so much sense. I'm on my second round of XXX treatments. Feel free to ask if you are curious about it. It's pretty incredible.

I have just recently found out about CPTSD.  I was diagnosed with PTSD but after reading about it, it didn't fit.  CPTSD. It explains everything. I feel BETTER knowing it's real. What I feel is real!

I hate myself. People think I'm good looking, make a comfortable living, intelligent, etc.  Well not everyone. But still I view myself as less than. From my youth. I've tried to take my life, been hospitalized, a lot.

I think maybe someone out there knows what I refer to as Big D. The worst depression where the entire world, people, LIFE is scary. Where suicide isn't even an option because it's too frightening. Trapped. Laying there trapped.

Anyway, I've started therapy. I've done 6 weeks. Also, this is the FIRST time I have ever written on a forum.  I was addicted to pain killers four years ago looking on forums and I never posted. I'm just really happy I found you guys. PLEASE feel free to tell me your stories. It actually makes Me feel better hearing other stories, so I've been reading here a lot.

Thank you for being here...