Hello All. I'm Rose. I've been reading through the site. And finally decided to join the forum. I have much trepidation but I also know that I am unable to go it alone. I am not yet ready to elucidate on the abuses of my childhood. But I have reached a point where I must return to work on it. For years I've thought I was past it. I thought I was ok. But at the most inopportune time I was blindsided with an unexpected emotional trigger. Bang. flashback. Suddenly I am emotionally experiencing a rerun of one of my worst episodes of intense childhood abuse. Three days later my guts are still shaking. I jump when some one enters the room. And my mind feels like it's ready to implode. Yeah I guess I am not as ok as I thought I was. :-( Will this never ever end? I'm 53 this year. Shouldn't I have forgotten and moved on? I mean really. I'm an adult not a child anymore.