Messages

I just graduated with my business degree last year. When I'm learning, and working toward something I am fine. I can deal with financial issues like a pro and my autistic son while frustrating at times is a great distraction. I have similar experiences with men and have found that my anxiety and fear controls most of my personal relationships, if I let the relationship form at all. I often wonder if accountability partners would work as well for anxiety and depression as it does for addicts and fitness. I am new here, I wasn't in the fog forum but I hope to find the help you have found here.

My name is Emily. I had sexual abuse for 3 years when I was really young. My dad walked out when I was 13 and he was my best friend. My brother was physically abusive. I know why I am the way I am and I am in a relationship with an amazing man right now which I keep setting off the self destruct button on. He has been patient and I have tried to fix it but I panic occasionally when he doesn't talk fast enough. I always think when he is stressed that it is because of me, no matter what he says. I always think he's going to leave and it has kind of become a self fulfilling prophecy. He is going to leave if I don't do something. I have had several relationships like this and I need to end the cycle. I need to feel better for myself, my son, and my relationships. I know what caused all of this, and I don't know how to fix it. Please help, I deserve happiness. I deserve to be rid of my anxiety. I deserve to get better.... for good.