Messages

Hey there Aphotic! Thanks for the warm welcome and wishes.

Let's see.  Programming wise, I'm a C guy at heart, but I love .Net and honestly, Swift.  It's so much more realistic than Obj-C.  I've also been known to futz about with (be forced to) work with Python, Ruby and occasionally PowerShell, though I hate that last one deeply.  I'll also be called on to try to decipher old bits of random things like Matlab or WPF/XAML or some F# or Mono thing a contractor did.  Mostly.... I'm a C family nerd, and I'm OS-agnostic as a rule.

Language wise... English, Spanish, Italian (anything Romance, really), Japanese and currently improving my German.  Learning Russian.  Bits of Mandarin and Korean.  Military brat at different times of my life, and I ended up with an affinity. ...  More like an abiding obsession.  I still love to travel, and I love going places where I know the language.  Just helps so much when you're really trying to experience a new place!

Thanks for calling out that quote.  I have to feel like it guides most of my better impulses these days.  We've clearly all got the strength, otherwise we wouldn't have made it this far, right? =]

And really, thank you for the warmth.  I've been in so many online communities throughout my life.  Hello, Prodigy? But never a mental health one.  This is unique for me.

Even if gradually.

I've had my (C)PTSD diagnosis for the better part of a year now, and I've lived with the chunk of events that caused my issue for over 33 years.  I'm on a bundle of meds these days, and transitioning from Vybriid to Effexor, with Seroquel, Prazosin and Xanax thrown in for good measure.  I don't know if it's customary to reveal all your traumas in an intro, but... they're complex, they're there, and I'm working through them.  In addition to the meds, I've embarked on EMDR, and it's been revolutionary for my perspectives.  I mean, incomparably powerful versus other approaches I've been through.

Little bit about me: though I currently live in an affluent suburb, I come from a very poor part of the country; I come from a very large family.  I put myself through my education, and I have a really well-paying job.  I am happily married for just over a decade.  SO is aware of and party to all of my treatment and my day-to-day.  Outside of the recent surge in my symptoms, I am generally happy, warm and quick to befriend new folks.  I am comfortable in crowds and in public speaking.  I am very much a people person.  The irony, right?

I'm an engineer, polyglot and an extrovert, which makes me fun at parties  , but I'm also someone who very deeply understands the worth and need for interpersonal connection and sharing common feels.  I am also a programming and workout enthusiast, nerd in general, and love pets and animals of all sorts.  I am sorry that we all have this qualifier in common, but I am grateful that there are communities that make us feel not alone.  That help us share and validate our experiences and hopefully trigger growth and fire within us all where needed.

I just wanted to say hi, and if I can help (or be helped), if I can share, then I want to.

I'm currently feeling like transitioning from one med to the other, and titrating to find the right dose makes me wonder how effective the medicinal approach is altogether.  I hate being tired, I miss how energetic I normally am, and I don't sleep well or for very long!  I suspect that's pretty common.  I also have strong emotions about certain meds: Mirtazapine is too strong, and so is Seroquel, ugh!

I have to believe that for people like me there is a homeostasis, there is a level or equilibrium we all hit where we cope with and live with our C/PTSD in a way that feels natural.  I have to believe that I eventually come through this stronger than I started.  Isn't that ... Life?  I don't want to resent that I have this, I don't want a "woe is me" cloud over my head, and I certainly don't want pity or sorrow in my wake.  I'm too happy a guy!

If this is a community that can help me find that equilibrium, and I can help anyone I meet feel a piece of that as well, then I'm all for it.  Happy to meet you all. 

avidDavid