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Thank you so much, there's a lot of really helpful stuff there.  And thanks for welcoming me, that means a lot.  It's good to be here. 

Dave

Hi people.  I don't know if I'm in the right place, but here goes, perhaps you can show me where to go if I need to be somewhere else.

My partner has CPTSD, due to neglect and abuse from her mother during her childhood.  I have supported her journey of recovery since we got together two years ago, although it has been a rocky road, and its only in the last three months that my partner has become aware and comfortable with self identifying as CPTSD.

My problem is my boundaries - i feel like I don't have any, that they are walked over continuously.  I arrange my life to make sure she feels safe and in control, which means not going out on my own, not developing relationships with work colleagues, and most significantly dealing with her rages and being 'frozen out' when she's in fight/flight (reliving her trauma).  I recognise that I have my own issues of people pleasing and avoiding conflict, so we are a perfect match (sarcasm!).

It's just reached the point where I am thinking of moving out as I don't know how to protect myself any more.  But I have become really close with her two children, and I don't want to see them hurt or abandoned by me.  We are in therapy, and I want to continue this, but how do I step in and say 'I need boundaries' without her feeling out of control/shame, and pushing me even further away?

If there's a 'partners of those with CPTSD' forum, please direct me, because I really need help.

Thanks,

Dave x