Messages

Oh the bright hair colour does look great. I was just so excited to see you brave enough to post your picture and how good your looking. 🙂

Omg your picture!!!!! You look so great! I love how your lipstick marches the hair and the way you've done your eyebrows!

I see the tape in the background of your picture too. I like that tape. I need to get some myself. 👍

Thank you for posting your picture twice. That says so much about how strong you are and how well you're doing. 

So just a few more words:

I asked you about the word neurodivergent because I trust you know yourself better than my autocorrect.

I also looked it up, but again, you speaking the truth of your reality is more accurate than any dictionary or medical text.

I'm so glad you have learned that, this message is more to others about how important the fact that we know our own bodies best is, though I hope you find encouragement in my agreement with you as well.

As for the emotional part; I'm sorry I missed that earlier. I can't imagine how drained you are. I couldn't do that conference right now; I continue to be impressed with the amount of stress you take on, yet also hope you reduce it temporarily for your own sake.

Sleep sounds great! I'm glad you're getting good rest these days. I guess the new mattress is good eh? Personally I want a bath. I wish I had a tub. 🙂

All the best tomorrow and the rest of the conference.

Hey Sage,

I hear you about how stressful and painful the cleaning is. It's taken me 3 days to get caught up on dishes and I'm not quite done yet.

I'm going to start using paper plates and cups now. It's just less painful.

Everything you wrote about in your bedroom sounds totally normal, so I'm sure it's all fine.

Usually in this case they're looking for structural damage to the building, they don't really care how you live, as long as it doesn't hurt their building. That's really mean, but I hope it also relieves some pressure about cleaning.

I remember I had a landlord so bad he threatened to call the police because I said it was dangerous to walk in on me in my sleep because I have PTSD. I told her to go ahead. I will call my psychiatrist for documentation then my lawyer. She didn't call the police after that.

Anyway I'm sure it will be so much less stressful for you. I don't expect any problems, and I'm sure your new doctor will help if there are any.

You're doing great managing all the physical stuff, but is there anything you can do to help you feel less anxious about the upcoming inspection?

About the Caesar recipe: I don't have it written out so it will take me a bit of time.

How exact measurements do you want? I just pour stuff in the blender until it tastes good. That's what makes it mine! I hope you experiment a bit with my recipe and make it your own. 🙂

I'm glad you're making such progress Snowdrop; that's awesome!

I'm really interested in IFS now that my mind is clearer. It was too scary for me before.

I'm curious what your parts think of me now after these last couple of messages I left here. Im sure their feedback can help me become a better person. It's okay if that's not something they want to share right now though. 🙂

Yay NotAlone! After seeing Blueberry's post I want to party! 

This is all so great Blueberry! I'm especially happy that you are learning to recognize how people treat you and how you are feeling.

I know what you mean about feeling selfish, it's looking after yourself, maybe it is a bit selfish. Looking at yourself isn't bad though no matter which word you use. Good job looking after yourself!

I hope you don't have to put up with landlord much longer, they are incredibly disrespectful and it hurts just reading how they treat you.

I hope your holiday is exactly what you need. 

<3 Niko

 

Thanks for your message here, Alter-eg0. It has been very nice to read.

Thanks for everything you have included to expand upon my note about reducing stress. I'm surprised and a bit disappointed that this simple fact has never been taught to me, despite the multitudes of handouts, worksheets, and other information I have read from the professionals.

I'm glad that not only have I realized it, but you agree and have shared more details as well as more helpful methods. Thank you so much!


I'm extremely interested in these other kinds of mind tests. IQ is not the most accurate title for them, but I have not yet figured out what is. I really want to write one of my own, though I'm sure it will be more widely accepted while named a "quiz".

I also will ask my psychiatrist for official ones and see what he can provide me. The IQ test I took was the only thing in my life which has properly challenged my intellectual capacity, and I want more of that!

Hi Rainy, there is one point I feel very important to make.

I do not expect you to have the level of success you desire in social situations right now. Connecting with others in person is mentally exhausting, especially as a neurodivergent individual.

(Is neurodivergent the correct word? My spell check says no but my memory says that’s the word you’ve used previously.)

Right now your mind is busy with higher priority tasks; the foremost being living through trauma.

Once that either becomes easier for you, or hopefully you overcome your trauma completely, I am confident that you will be able to master social situations with a bit of dedication.

New note of the highest import:

#1 way to reduce stress is to accept whatever my mind is doing is best. Understanding why it is doing what it is doing is the key to that acceptance.

 

I have carefully read every word, but I have no better advice to offer. You're doing exceptionally well!

  

I see, thank you for clarifying. I'm glad you have such a positive mindset and approach on this.

Thanks for your warm welcome here; I really appreciate that! 

Hi Bach!

I understand you are confused and frustrated right now. I'm sorry, those are very difficult feelings. 

I think you're doing an excellent job listening to what your body is trying to tell you. Whether the pains are from a physical cause or a mental cause is irrelevant to me. Your body is in pain, which I see as it telling you that it desperately needs things to be better.

I have found that doctors and therapists and others do not understand me very well, so they try to help, but it is not very accurate. I do my best to listen to what everyone says, but trust my mind and body most.

If you feel good reconnecting with your mother, than that is what you should do.

Re-establishing some kind of relationship really seemed so much like the right thing to do after two years(!)

Based on what you have written here, I am 100% confident you are correct.

It sounds like your mother isn't poisoning you right now, but maybe you need some time and effort to flush all the poison out of your system that has been built up for so long.

Middle B's talents sound wonderful. I am only learning to appreciate art myself right now, so I'm sorry I couldn't before. I would like to see some of Middle B's work though! Where can I find it?

We will all do our best to help you Bach, but it is up to you to save yourself with our support. I hope you're feeling better soon. 

<3 Niko