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I'm beginning to panic, feeling like I'm in one of those dreams where you can't find the classroom, etc.  I've tried in three visits now, but I don't know how to reply to those who have commented on my intro post or to other posts?  I have some visual and cognitive difficulties due to my chronic illness as well as the CPTSD, and it isn't obvious to me here, what to do, and....catalyst, catalyst, catalyst for the reason I'm here anyway.  Sorry.  But, help. 

Hello, I'm new to this site.  About 25 years ago, I was diagnosed with PTSD related to childhood and marital abuse.  A lot of intensive work was done and I thought I'd pretty much wrapped it up.  A few years after, my health collapsed and I have spent 15 years dealing with mysterious chronic illness.  Five years ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease.  About a year later I noticed emotional reactions out of my control that seemed too much for the situation.  Four years of high stress, increasingly toxic, religious social trauma followed, but I was in denial about how triggered I was.  This year, upon acknowledging that a long string of failed social/relational situations adorn my adulthood, I realized that my experience fits exactly the criteria of Complex Post Traumatic Disorder.  I am working with a PTSD specialist and have a very supportive husband.  I really want to desensitize.  Right now I find social interaction of any kind problematic and would like to completely isolate.  However, this is in conflict with my desire to commit to compassionate service.  So...I need to do the work.  The CPTSD distinction is new to me---it wasn't talked about during my initial PTSD treatment years.  I have a lot to learn right now.