Messages

Sending you a hug  I hope to re-read what you wrote in your summary in the New year when I have maybe more capacity to process things - but for now, I wanted to say that I send you support. 

Hi Marcine,
I relate so much to things you wrote, and naming the 'family' as 'cult' - wow, I relate to that very much - that is something I have considered as well.

I am so glad that you've 'got free' and also that you're 'more alive than ever' - I am cheering you, if that is ok 

Also sending you a hug of support 

Sending you a hug Desert Flower 

Hi SanMagic, NarcKiddo, SenseOrgan, Desert Flower, Marcine & Chart
Thank you all very much for the kind words you said           
Your comments made my heart feel warm - a lovely feeling.  Thank you 

22nd December 2025
It feels a bit frenzied out there - lots of people jostling to look for Christmas presents/food stuffs/whatever for Christmas.  I found some moments of peace and calm within all of that - especially when I ventured into the library, which is one of my favourite places to be - so calm and lovely there.  I chose some books to take home to enjoy.

I think I'll wait till after Christmas is over before I consider my usual goal to think of the various things that have happened over the year, and consider any realisations I've had regarding my progress in attempting to tackle the emotional fall-out of C-PTSD.  But as I consider that briefly in my mind just now, there are some thoughts coming to mind - so I'll jot them down:

I have been able to stay 'mindful' and use meditation to good effect this year - it has enabled me to feel a lot more centred and grounded in so many situations, and I am grateful for having stuck with it and practised it - so that I can use it on a daily basis. 

I feel more like an 'adult' more of the time than I have ever done in my life - and it's been ok - it's enabled me to parent the smaller parts of me who need me, and I am grateful that I've been able to find various books and tools and resources to enable me to try to do a reasonable job of it.

I've noticed that dreams in recent weeks have featured my past work situations, and that is unusual that they are focusing on that - but the good theme within it is that I am coping with the job situations and I'm amazed at how I've managed to cope - this reflects reality, as I do think back and wonder how I ever managed to do what was a complex and demanding kind of profession.  I don't think I would attempt it now!  I feel too scared at the responsibility of it all. 

I've managed to lose some weight during the second part of this year - but Christmas isn't helping me to continue - so I've decided to just enjoy some treats and festive bites, and not worry too much till January - then get back to trying to lose more weight.  I suspect this is true of many people this time of year - not a time for dieting over Christmas!

Wow, I've written far more than I thought I would, and I didn't even think I would be writing any conclusions from the year today - but I do seem to have put down a list, so I'll leave it there for now.

I went to the library today and it was such a lovely place to be - I felt some calm and peace there.  Enjoyed those moments.  Have brought home some nice books to keep me happy over the festive period.

Hi everyone,
I know this thread was for last Christmas, but I'm looking for somewhere to just say something about Christmas, and so I came here - it's 2025 - somehow the whole thing takes on a frenzy and I just wanted to note a few moments of calm within it - hope everyone is negotiating their way through the festive times.

Hi Chart,
I'm glad you enjoyed the beginning of it, and hope that you enjoy the rest as well.  I've certainly found it helpful myself.
 

 

I do want to report that I have been making good progress in relation to my cptsd. The EMDR seems to help even if it seems it shouldn't. I find myself less apt to lose my patience, though at times it is a struggle. The feelings of aloneness are less frequent, but not less disturbing when they come.

The aloneness has been a consistent part of my life. Though I can now shake myself out of it on occasion it wins more than not. I am grateful for the progress. There is so much damage that has to be undone. I have to keep reminding myself that healing is a process. It takes time.

Hi Little2Nothing,
I am just catching up with your journal, and it was so lovely to read your progress here - I wanted to cheer you  because it is heart-warming to hear.  I agree with you that healing is a process that takes time, but hearing you speak of the things you're achieving, it's very inspiring to hear.

Sending you a hug 

Hi Abitbroken,
Welcome.  I hope you'll be kind to yourself, pace things, and that you and your little cat will both have some positive moments to enjoy.  Sending you a hug of support, if that's ok 

Welcome Dochartaigh 

Welcome 

Hi Desert Flower,
Glad that you are feeling calmer and that you are safe, and also that you enjoyed filling out that questionnaire. It's great that you went to that Retreat and that it went well.  Missing that Birthday thing sounds like it was meant to be and you could sleep for a while. 

That is a very physical reaction - when you wrote about being grabbed by the throat.  I feel angry that the EF affected you so roughly SanMagic, and I feel like telling that part that you are such a lovely person, and I'm glad that your D was able to help with removing some of the gunk that you experienced.