Hi NarcKiddo, SanMagic, TheBigBlue, and Marcine,
I appreciate what you each said. Thank you very much
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17th January 2026
It was interesting because I had been talking to my partner about the fact that I hadn't had the feelings of terror at night for a long while. He then spoke of how he could remember several occasions when he had really feared that neighbours might have come to help - i.e. he told me that I had screamed so loudly sometimes at night. We were able to laugh about this in retrospect, but I also felt the need to tell him how much I'd appreciated his being able to cope with this - and that he had responded in a helpful and supportive way that was invaluable to me.
Anyway, I ended up having a night terror last night, and apparently shouted out (rather than screamed) - but I do have a partial memory of it - and I shouted at the point where I had thought that there was someone in the room (a woman) who was holding out a substance that I believed could kill me if I touched it - so that was interesting that it happened like that. I am relieved that I was able to go back to sleep fairly quickly afterward.
However today my partner reminded me of it, and he wondered if the fact we'd talked about the lack of night terrors, and talking about them again, whether that had brought them back again.
I told him that I think it's better to talk about things - than not.
I hope so anyway.
It's probably just a coincidence that it happened. I'm not too worried about it.
I doubt that the night terrors will ever go away completely - but the thing is that I cope better, and my partner does understand this.
***********
I've been experiencing some feelings of GRIEF lately. ANGER and GRIEF intermingled. I might do some journalling about what's incorporated in that - maybe. Not sure.
Right now, I'm going to get a cup of tea.
I appreciate what you each said. Thank you very much
*********
17th January 2026
It was interesting because I had been talking to my partner about the fact that I hadn't had the feelings of terror at night for a long while. He then spoke of how he could remember several occasions when he had really feared that neighbours might have come to help - i.e. he told me that I had screamed so loudly sometimes at night. We were able to laugh about this in retrospect, but I also felt the need to tell him how much I'd appreciated his being able to cope with this - and that he had responded in a helpful and supportive way that was invaluable to me.
Anyway, I ended up having a night terror last night, and apparently shouted out (rather than screamed) - but I do have a partial memory of it - and I shouted at the point where I had thought that there was someone in the room (a woman) who was holding out a substance that I believed could kill me if I touched it - so that was interesting that it happened like that. I am relieved that I was able to go back to sleep fairly quickly afterward.
However today my partner reminded me of it, and he wondered if the fact we'd talked about the lack of night terrors, and talking about them again, whether that had brought them back again.
I told him that I think it's better to talk about things - than not.
I hope so anyway.
It's probably just a coincidence that it happened. I'm not too worried about it.
I doubt that the night terrors will ever go away completely - but the thing is that I cope better, and my partner does understand this.
***********
I've been experiencing some feelings of GRIEF lately. ANGER and GRIEF intermingled. I might do some journalling about what's incorporated in that - maybe. Not sure.
Right now, I'm going to get a cup of tea.
