Just having a real difficult time. Cptsd probably...been a long time with these issues, now. Been a really long time. I'm up and down. 31 years old...and male. It's been a long time I've had issues since I was 13 they started, and really began. Just looking for support here. A member of a different forum but looking for something better here. Lately, Ive noticed its emotional regulation (I have developed these within my FOI) that wreck me absolutely. It's complicated. I have a conflicted relationship with my family. I have trauma history, and a pretty invalidating father, which is the source I think for a lot of my problems. I also have a mother whom I fight with constantly and a brother I don't talk to, because we fight.
I basically fight and am estranged from everyone, basically. I don't like or want it to be this way, but that's somehow, just how it is. I'm a sensitive guy...interpersonal arguments, especially with my Mother (my father's long passed away)...set me off and trigger me, absolutely wrench me inside into emotional dysregulation, depression...
I was pretty invalidated for everything all the time growing up, by both parents. It was an invalidating family...the trauma just added to it and made this worse. I have a lot of problems with people. I don't get along with them. Things set me off, I get into fights, and react drastically. Etc. I'm up and down and trying to do something about that.
I've noticed as of late the biggest triggers for me are interpersonal family fights. With my Mother, things will end badly and I'll be messed up, and depressed for days...feeling guilty. When things are good they're great, but there're still a lot of * arguments that happen out of nowhere, for some reason. I always get blamed of course, but I think it's partly her. I could explain but it takes too much. Maybe I'll give an example later.
I want to minimize such events, and work on my emotional coping, so these things don't happen or occur in the future. They absolutely wreck me and exact a huge functioning toll, throw me into depression, etc and emotional deregulation. I've noticed the triggers.
I've had this conflicted relationship with my family members since the trauma happened.
I'm just now starting to deal with all of this and heal.
Thanks.
I basically fight and am estranged from everyone, basically. I don't like or want it to be this way, but that's somehow, just how it is. I'm a sensitive guy...interpersonal arguments, especially with my Mother (my father's long passed away)...set me off and trigger me, absolutely wrench me inside into emotional dysregulation, depression...
I was pretty invalidated for everything all the time growing up, by both parents. It was an invalidating family...the trauma just added to it and made this worse. I have a lot of problems with people. I don't get along with them. Things set me off, I get into fights, and react drastically. Etc. I'm up and down and trying to do something about that.
I've noticed as of late the biggest triggers for me are interpersonal family fights. With my Mother, things will end badly and I'll be messed up, and depressed for days...feeling guilty. When things are good they're great, but there're still a lot of * arguments that happen out of nowhere, for some reason. I always get blamed of course, but I think it's partly her. I could explain but it takes too much. Maybe I'll give an example later.
I want to minimize such events, and work on my emotional coping, so these things don't happen or occur in the future. They absolutely wreck me and exact a huge functioning toll, throw me into depression, etc and emotional deregulation. I've noticed the triggers.
I've had this conflicted relationship with my family members since the trauma happened.
I'm just now starting to deal with all of this and heal.
Thanks.