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I would add, personally, I am still in the "copletely floored" disbelief stage, but I have a solid education in human behaivor from political to genetic level, so I am also at the state where I accept, the war is over, I lost, I am a refugee, and its time to move on, and am totally committed to no contact (in this case I lost my entire extended family), and a new start, Interestingly, I think, as I have been gonig through the obsessive part of trauma, I can see, that my fathers elder sibling was probably a covert narc (i never met, No contact started well before I was born), and that my dad, was probably codependent, and that my mother was a codependent, and my step mother, who is a flying monkey now and overt narc, is probably a result of the codependency inflicted on my father before such was medically understood to be  a DSM level disorder. MY lightbulb came when my covert Narcs eldest demonstrated a clear sign of being in a household with such abuse, In the first generations case, a significant part of the environmental trauma probably the great depression and impoverishment. In my generation, divorce and separation, I was raised by biological mother, my covert narc in a household with a codependent and an overt, possibly covert, dont know on that one. I find interesting as does seem to show it as genetic, but only expressed when subjected to major trauma, but also how the behavior can scar the victim into perpetuating it across generations through behavior,

Hi all,

I had my "lightbulb" moment, which I thought of more as the most profound epiphany in my life, last July, and made the common mistake of thinking knowing the problem would be enough for me to solve it, boy was I a fool. I see now, I am fully manifested CPTSD and definately codependent. I am a veteran, so I enrolled in their trauma program today, but my mental health care point of contact, agrees, the administration may not have the right expertise for abuse based trauma of this type, but that as a consequence of my gas lighting, I was proven non threat so am not eligable for inpatient care she recoomend and that support from the private sector would be likely be authorized and paid for per recent laws enabling veterans to seek better care outside the agency. I have read, I need to be extremely careful in seeking support of experts with specific experience with covert NARC recovery support, as I am fully codependent now and obviously vulnerable to B personality types, Thoughts or resources that can help me identify the right care would be very welcome.