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 woodsgnome, I completely agree "EF" doesn't seem to do it justice. It feels to me like a bottomless pit and though I can crawl out of it I always know it's there.
My T's constantly telling "mediation then medication," which means to sooth my mind naturally before resorting to drugging it. I do my best to do a 20 minute guided bliss meditation once a day and it does help for a couple of hours. However,  It's diffucult for me to find unscheduled time to meditate. When I'm triggered in the middle of the day with a toddler to care for I usually just resort to medicating and messaging my T.

Thank you sanmagic7. I just spent about 45 minutes reading about Pete Walkers Steps. I was doing most of those thing but hopefully it will help to have a genuine plan of action. I greatly appreciate the help, support and the hug.

Dee, I'm currently on the lookout for a therapist in my area but haven't been able to find on closer than 3 hours away who is experienced in CPTSD. I'm currently speaking with someone online and while she is helpful it's been a struggle not being able to speak with someone face to face. 

For me, flashbacks have always been the worst. I still haven't figured out how to stable myself afterwards and most times I end up puking. The day after my entire body is sore and i usually end up mourning the incidents all over again like they just happened. With the help of yoga, prescriptions and my adorable daughter I'm usually back to normal in 2 days.

There has got to be a better way to go about this. There has to be a way to make them less intense and to pull myself out of them.