Thank you for your kind replies, appeciate it! It all went fairly well so far, although still triggering.
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#2
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hi (trigger warning)
May 03, 2018, 09:03:04 PM
Hello everyone,
I guess I start posting in this forum today, after reading some Posts in the last weeks, wich always really helped putting all the doubts about my recovery in perspective.
So I think I just say something about my Situation right now and my journey so far. Im currently 19 and moved out from my parents 6 months ago and quit contact aside from organizational stuff.
I started trying to meditate about 2,5 years ago when I was really depressed and barely left the house aside from school. But meditation brought up to much of my stuff (I didnt know anything about trauma at the time, though) so I tried a few other semi-helpful things including 3 months with a less than optimal therapist, until I learned about abuse/trauma last year, read walkers book and discovered that my alienation, fear and other problems actually have a name and pretty straight forward cause.
Since then I slowly & painfully started doing stuff again (playing piano, cooking...), learned flashback management & some mindfulness stuff and I fell pretty safe here with my roommates. All of which really helped to improve my state. Although I still wake up every morning with strong panic, often feel very light headed and foggy and sometimes sort of manic/grandiose.
Yesterday I had my first day at a job as a waiter, which is really frightening and triggering, like my whole situation, but im starting to run out of money. I had a first session with a psychotheriapist at a counceling place at a church where i live last week, and I hope she can help me, until i find a trauma therapist. She seems like a pretty fair human being.
I thank you all who read this and wish you all the strength you need to move on.
Ps: writing this was super triggering and took me a while
I guess I start posting in this forum today, after reading some Posts in the last weeks, wich always really helped putting all the doubts about my recovery in perspective.
So I think I just say something about my Situation right now and my journey so far. Im currently 19 and moved out from my parents 6 months ago and quit contact aside from organizational stuff.
I started trying to meditate about 2,5 years ago when I was really depressed and barely left the house aside from school. But meditation brought up to much of my stuff (I didnt know anything about trauma at the time, though) so I tried a few other semi-helpful things including 3 months with a less than optimal therapist, until I learned about abuse/trauma last year, read walkers book and discovered that my alienation, fear and other problems actually have a name and pretty straight forward cause.
Since then I slowly & painfully started doing stuff again (playing piano, cooking...), learned flashback management & some mindfulness stuff and I fell pretty safe here with my roommates. All of which really helped to improve my state. Although I still wake up every morning with strong panic, often feel very light headed and foggy and sometimes sort of manic/grandiose.
Yesterday I had my first day at a job as a waiter, which is really frightening and triggering, like my whole situation, but im starting to run out of money. I had a first session with a psychotheriapist at a counceling place at a church where i live last week, and I hope she can help me, until i find a trauma therapist. She seems like a pretty fair human being.
I thank you all who read this and wish you all the strength you need to move on.
Ps: writing this was super triggering and took me a while
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