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Welcome and you are not alone, for sure. I have all those letters after my name too...

ACA, Alanon, Coda, CPTSD, ADHD, and too many misdiagnoses to count.

See you round the forum!

A hearty welcome and congratulations on your commitment to yourself. And I offer my condolences.

I, too, am a 12 step veteran. So helpful, yet none of the programs I've tried deal with childhood trauma...except Adult Children of Alcoholics. And that book...its a tough read, but validating. Warm wishes as you seek the support you need for this season...

Possible trigger:  some religious reference, very general overview of my story...

Hi everyone,
I don't know  how long its been since I was on this forum. Grateful that its here. I guess I go through seasons where the pain gets so deep and intense, and no one in my outer life seems to understand. Even therapists!!!

I'm going to look around for a thread that seems best to post where I'm at. For now, I'll re-introduce...

I am a Christian and I want to KEEP my faith, but, since my abuse started at birth due to a very unwell mother, and continued in the church, well, you know, I sometimes...no OFTEN get mad at God. Try sharing that at church! LOL

Lately, I've been having snippets of memory returning. But mostly, its the pre-verbal, infant terror of being hurt by "mom," that's kicking my rear end.

The feelings are dark, chaotic, overwhelming...like a hurricane and a dirty bomb going off at the same time. "Why, God?" I said today, and cried so deep and hard I thought my stomach was going to come out of my mouth.

When many of one's "memories" are pre-verbal and somatic only, its hard to sum up one's story. But I'm sensing I must.

Off to mingle with some of you. Thanks for being here.