Hi, not sure where to begin. I've never joined a forum or anything so if I'm doing this wrong then please let me know.
I have recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and my mental health nurse suspects CPTSD. Since reading up on the symptoms I'm scared but relieved that I'm not the only person who thinks the way that I do.
I had an incredibly tough childhood, alcoholic, abusive and neglectful mother, sexually abusive father. From age 12 moved to four different relatives/foster carers. My only supportive and loving relative being my grandmother. She was then murdered by my uncle shortly after my 19th birthday and shortly before the birth of my daughter.
I have always been so determined that my life would not be defined by my past, I've raised two beautiful kids and have a very demanding job which ive worked hard to achieve.
In the last 4/5 years since I got divorced, I've started to feel things falling apart. I'm clingy in relationships, but I have no friends.
I lie all the time, not maliciously but I don't have it in me to admit if I've made a mistake or if something is going wrong I will hide it.
I can't bear it if my current partner is unhappy with me, I hide anything negative and if he's annoyed with me I feel so upset and convince myself that he is going to leave me.
In a work environment I am so focussed on having the approval of my superiors that I often overload myself with jobs or working overtime or allow myself to be treated poorly in comparison to others on my level.
I just want to get better
I want to be more truthful and confident and not feel like everything is out of control.
Has anyone been in my situation? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
Can anyone recommend anything that I can do myself to feel better quicker?
Thanks
I have recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and my mental health nurse suspects CPTSD. Since reading up on the symptoms I'm scared but relieved that I'm not the only person who thinks the way that I do.
I had an incredibly tough childhood, alcoholic, abusive and neglectful mother, sexually abusive father. From age 12 moved to four different relatives/foster carers. My only supportive and loving relative being my grandmother. She was then murdered by my uncle shortly after my 19th birthday and shortly before the birth of my daughter.
I have always been so determined that my life would not be defined by my past, I've raised two beautiful kids and have a very demanding job which ive worked hard to achieve.
In the last 4/5 years since I got divorced, I've started to feel things falling apart. I'm clingy in relationships, but I have no friends.
I lie all the time, not maliciously but I don't have it in me to admit if I've made a mistake or if something is going wrong I will hide it.
I can't bear it if my current partner is unhappy with me, I hide anything negative and if he's annoyed with me I feel so upset and convince myself that he is going to leave me.
In a work environment I am so focussed on having the approval of my superiors that I often overload myself with jobs or working overtime or allow myself to be treated poorly in comparison to others on my level.
I just want to get better
I want to be more truthful and confident and not feel like everything is out of control.
Has anyone been in my situation? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
Can anyone recommend anything that I can do myself to feel better quicker?
Thanks