Good Morning Megwyn:
This is my first reply, so I apologize in advance if I mess up the lingo and/or talk about myself too much. I'm truly sorry to hear about what you've gone through, yet it sounds like you're doing everything you can to help yourself.
My 95 year-old father died in December of 2016, and I maintained a relationship with him out of a sense of obligation. His death brought some relief, as his emotional neglect, incompetence, verbal abuse, and controlling manner destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence. It took me hours to recover from every visit, yet I tried to rationalize it by thinking about his life as a Holocaust survivor.
I've had a similar experience with therapists who could only offer limited sessions due to funding limitations, and I found it incredibly painful to be ripped away from someone I shared a strong connection with. We may have free health care in Canada, yet the waiting lists are daunting, and the quality of care varies greatly. Support groups have been hit-and-miss, yet there are some good ones.
I wish you every good thing, and hope you manage to find an open-ended therapist who can really help you heal.
This is my first reply, so I apologize in advance if I mess up the lingo and/or talk about myself too much. I'm truly sorry to hear about what you've gone through, yet it sounds like you're doing everything you can to help yourself.
My 95 year-old father died in December of 2016, and I maintained a relationship with him out of a sense of obligation. His death brought some relief, as his emotional neglect, incompetence, verbal abuse, and controlling manner destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence. It took me hours to recover from every visit, yet I tried to rationalize it by thinking about his life as a Holocaust survivor.
I've had a similar experience with therapists who could only offer limited sessions due to funding limitations, and I found it incredibly painful to be ripped away from someone I shared a strong connection with. We may have free health care in Canada, yet the waiting lists are daunting, and the quality of care varies greatly. Support groups have been hit-and-miss, yet there are some good ones.
I wish you every good thing, and hope you manage to find an open-ended therapist who can really help you heal.