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Everyone should check out polyvagal nerve therory for another view on disassociation.  It solved what I've been wondering about and dealing with for the past 15 years.  There's a great YouTube video that's hilarious and informative.  I'm so grateful things are finally starting to come together

Hey, guess what?!  I found the answer to this, it's the freeze response in polyvagal nerve therory!  Look it up on YouTube.  I can't believe I finally found it:)

Hi there, I'm glad you found out about this.  I'd suggest you look up info on polyvagal nerve therory.  It explains perfectly what happens, there's a great YouTube video

I didn't realize I was a freeze type.  It started getting bad last spring when I was going for days without sleep.  I would find myself sitting in the most uncomfortable positions and places.  Like on the bathroom floor and I'd have a bruise on my elbow and leg for days.  I knew it was bad, but couldn't figure out how I didn't have any accidents to clean up, probably because I hadn't eaten anything either.  I finally started getting EMDR and that got me back in my body, I was ravenous and finally had to use the bathroom.  It was a totally enclosed space with no windows, maybe I felt safe in there?  Who knows, I finally agreed to go on medication after my therapist declared emergency a few months ago.  I'm a recovering alcoholic so the thought of sleeping pills scared me way more than putting up with it.  I'm taking Zoloft and Trazadone, does anyone have any luck with others?  I need to keep trying to tweak my meds, it's helping.  I decided to run a marathon as a non runner who hates running.  I didn't realize how much it helped until I got a stress fracture during the race.  Now I've been in a boot and can't stand not running, it's a mess. 

I've been seeing a therapist and learned that I probably began disassociating during sleep on the plane to America.  I was adopted and it makes sense knowing the story.  My parents told me I slept through the airport and loud restaurant and 2.5 hours home.  They put me in my crib and I woke up and looked around and didn't stop bawling all night.  I had a recent EMDR session and went back to the womb, found out my mom was with me for 6 days to feed me before leaving me in foster care.  I didn't believe it would work when my therapist wanted to count down from 14 to see how many days before I was left.  At 6 my stomach started growling really loud, I got freezing cold and my right arm went numb.  It's crazy how far back I had to go, I was thinking we'd start with my first relationship.  I was a blackout drunk and started dating just to stop feeling so dirty because of how often I'd wake up not knowing who I'd slept with again.  It was abusive and ended up getting pregnant, which saved my life.  It was the only thing that would've stopped me from drinking until the end.  My daughter is adopted and since my CPTSD diagnosis last year, I haven't been in her life.  I don't know why I stopped seeing her, it is so absolutely depressing and don't know what my problem is.  It's certainly not her fault, she's the best thing that ever happened to me in my life.  I miss her but don't know how to approach this, I know she has contact with her birth father.  It's none of my business to interfere with that relationship and don't know how to make contact or what to do or say.  It breaks my heart, I've just stopped seeing her and this can't continue.  Does anyone have any advice about how to tell her what's going on?  I don't understand my own behavior, it's ridiculous.  All I want is to reestablish our relationship but it's me who cut it off for no reason.  She's 14 and mature enough to handle it, I just don't know how to approach it without involving anything about her birth father. 

I'm new here and just realized I was totally unfamiliar with the term dissociation.  I always assumed it was what happens to me during sex.  I don't know what happens to me, can anyone help?  It's like falling asleep, but involuntary.  I fall out of my body down, not up to the ceiling which is the closest I can find.  This is the view from my perspective.  It's like if you were standing on the edge of a pool, but turn around with your back to the water, and jump in.  From underwater you can look up and see the face of someone standing on the edge.  You can still see them but blurry, hear them talking but only noises.  And you keep sinking down as it gets darker, until you're gone.  Waking up is normal.