TW violence & SI
I was born for money for drugs. My parents didn't want kids. They didn't want me or my 3 sisters. We were raised by our grandparents. Then abused by my grandmother. Then kicked out by her. I haven't seen my sisters in over two years because of my grandmother.
I have no family support. I have only my bf. We have been together for over a year. I wanna break up with him because of my depression, because I burden him etc. I suffer everyday. I try and get help from psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, etc. I get murdered by my "family" in my sleep. I have memories during the day of stuff that happened to me as a child and teenager. I am now 19 studying to be a nurse. Can't concentrate. Can't sleep. Can't do assignments unless my bf forced me to do them. Can't get out of bed. Can't eat because I can't afford too. I can't get a job.
I go into acute meltdowns almost every day now. It's gettint worse. Hospital can only do short term, meaning they give me Valium and send me home. My trauma from my family and past isn't getting fixed. I'm stressed all the time, which is ruining my health. I can't look after myself. I'm all alone. Vicious cycle found around and around. Then I become numb, the worst part of this all. No feelings. Nothing worth living for anymore. No hope left. Can't harm myself because I hate pain. But the pain I endure everyday is terrible.
I was born for money for drugs. My parents didn't want kids. They didn't want me or my 3 sisters. We were raised by our grandparents. Then abused by my grandmother. Then kicked out by her. I haven't seen my sisters in over two years because of my grandmother.
I have no family support. I have only my bf. We have been together for over a year. I wanna break up with him because of my depression, because I burden him etc. I suffer everyday. I try and get help from psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, etc. I get murdered by my "family" in my sleep. I have memories during the day of stuff that happened to me as a child and teenager. I am now 19 studying to be a nurse. Can't concentrate. Can't sleep. Can't do assignments unless my bf forced me to do them. Can't get out of bed. Can't eat because I can't afford too. I can't get a job.
I go into acute meltdowns almost every day now. It's gettint worse. Hospital can only do short term, meaning they give me Valium and send me home. My trauma from my family and past isn't getting fixed. I'm stressed all the time, which is ruining my health. I can't look after myself. I'm all alone. Vicious cycle found around and around. Then I become numb, the worst part of this all. No feelings. Nothing worth living for anymore. No hope left. Can't harm myself because I hate pain. But the pain I endure everyday is terrible.