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I am feeling tired of this, I feel quite ahead of myself and like I am not all here, I feel dreamy and tired and the noises around me sound '' big'', '' loud '' and '' weird '' everything sounds '' distorted'' because of how my mind feels.

I am tired, tired of having to feel this way , having to deal with things I never asked to deal with . I feel trapped in this life , trapped with the same scenes the same problems, isolation, weirdness.

I feel flat squashed on and like someone '' abused '' my face feels flat I feel like my mind has been trodden on , I feel weird.

my older sister is coming down later with my niece and nephew as much as I want to see my nephew I am simply not in the mood to be around them when I feel like this..
some of my symptoms have also been worsening recently and i am not even sure why

so fed up of having to deal with this and yet i am supposed to keep helping myself even if i do not want to or even if i am tired.. life feels like a weird sick joke..

thankyou boy22  .

for me its more about the distress the noise distortions can cause, ... i do not experience physical pain but emotional . and when noises sound weird i end up feeling more trapped at times..

thankyou bhay 

i do have a therapist . i will be sure to look around this site, thankyou

hello '' rain again '' thankyou for your reply , you are right we are i guess '' vulnerable '' ...  and no it is not a good thing to be .

these companies are only there to get as much money as they can out of people.. it was a poor coping strategy for sure , i truly when i was betting i kind of felt '' self destructive '' and '' dissociated '' and '' pained '' i guess... i was not in the right frame of mind to be on these sites
i only yesterday read on the gambling commission site that casinos have should have a duty of care towards their customers and they should check and review problem behaviours on their sites and interact with the person who has the gambling problem, not one of these companies acted this way.. so how are they even allowed to run.. it seemed so unethical ..

three roses, thankyou . Yes i guess you are right , anything but self care is a form of self harm .. i guess i was just a little upset at the fact that i betted at a time of not feeling so mentally well and in turn lost all of that money, .... not very happy with the fact that these companies will not have any compassion or regard for the fact that i am and was '' mentally ill ''

its a shame that such companies are even allowed to exist and that '' vulnerable people '' get pulled into such sites.... 

thankyou for your reply

hello , i am sorry to hear of this. i am not so sure that i have the answer to this one, all i can say is that it sounds to me that you grew up feeling you were not like other people, and made to feel different .. perhaps you grew up feeling like you had '' no human feelings''... maybe you felt '' numb '' empty '' or '' lacking in feeling '' i know that i grew up feeling this way a lot of the time, empty , not enough emotions feeling like nothing and like i was a nobody

i am sorry if i can not offer anymore advice ..

i can only say that sometimes i feel like a head on a body ( dp symptoms ) sometimes i feel like i have a hole inside of myself and sometimes i walk around feeling like a shell and i used to in the past..

maybe convincing yourself that you are '' different '' keeps you apart from people, maybe this is a self defense mechanism and maybe this keeps you from feeling apart from people

sorry that i can not be of anymore help, this is just my random thoughts

take care

ok .. so i wanted to write a post about a problem i had a while back which was '' online betting '' basically i became stupidly addicted and very self destructive, i basically chucked away most of my money and now i just feel like a stupid fool.
I used all of my grans inheritance money which was 5000 pounds , and i also used my other money so basically i chucked it all away , what for .

i wanted to post this up on here because i feel i need someones opinion and support on this.

Apparently i am not allowed the money back or any of it because it is me who betted and they are refusing to give it back regardless of the fact i have mental health issues, this makes me a bit upset.

I did end up winning some money but i only threw it away again , basically i only put a stop to it after most of my money had dissappeared ,

i wish there was a way to be able to get some of the money back but i do not think there is...

at the time of doing this i felt '' not very mentally well at all'' and i was also going through phases of scratching my skin

is betting classed as '' self harm '' '' self abuse '' ....

hi safety in numbers.. i am sorry to hear how you were struggling with your inner world in your yoga practise. Maybe with more practise those internal feelings would be easier to sit with and maybe they would even '' shift '' onto something nicer.
I think a lot of yoga helps us to focus on ourselves, our bodies and our minds the way we move the way we breath , being in the '' moment '' '' in the now '' , i guess yoga is about grounding, feeling safe and releasing tension etc.

I practise yoga a lot, mainly off you tube. I practise all sorts of yoga styles, hatha, vinyasa, power, restorative, ..... i like all of them ...
there are so many benefits to practising yoga and i actually read how it is a very good form of healing for trauma victims.

surely its about finding relaxation ,peace and calm or letting go of anything negative.. stress, anxiety , fear.

As far as your weight is concerned, yoga can help one to lose weight and also increase flexibility so maybe keep with the practising of it and things might get easier?

I love yoga ...

hi mojo i am new here and i have just read your post about loving your inner child , so nice to hear and i love how you hug a pillow whilst pretending it is her! that is so cool and it sounds like you have gained comfort from connecting to her.
I am also trying to work on loving the different parts of myself , showing them compassion telling them i love and accept them that nothing is their fault although of course sometimes i slip up and revert to feeling '' self critical '' or atleast some parts of me feel critical over the other parts, sometimes.

Its interesting how you mention the '' warrior '' because only yesterday i was some way through a book which happened to mention the inner child and us looking after them , it was actually a book on healing and shamanism but it stated that the adult looking after the child , she or he is the warrior and the '' inner child '' in this case is referred to as '' the beast '' because that part is wounded and unruly at times,

The film beauty and the beast was mentioned and this was used as a metaphor for the warrior and the beast, the inner child , beauty accepts the beast into her heart comes to accept him love him and see his real side.

hello, i am new here.

I have been through a lot of trauma in my life, emotional neglect as a kid and later into adulthood i went through abuse related traumas.  Sometimes i feel so confused, and i have this feeling of .. '' but why me '' '' why so much trauma '' .

I deal with dissociation, depersonalisation, derealisation , i also have a number of different parts of myself. I also deal with noise distortions which at times can be quite distressing and upsetting.

Although i do not have a specific diagnosis, i have been through a lot of traUma .

I hope this forum to be of some type of help to me.