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Unfortunately trauma and addiction go hand in hand  my sympathies go out to all of us currently battling the demons of addiction. 

I've used various substances for at least the last 20 years of my 30 year existence on this planet. It seems a large percentage of people with CPTSD are usually more likely to abuse alcohol - am I the only one here who has an addiction?

Hello OOTS, and thank you for approving my membership request. My name is Charlie, I'm a 30 year old female living in the southeastern United States, I have two children 11 & 4, and I have CPTSD. I'm newly diagnosed and currently on Wellbutrin for symptoms. Using the ACE's as a diagnostic, I honestly have experienced all 10 of them.

It began somewhere between the ages of 4 to 6 with CSA, my mother was a drug addict and also suffers from CPTSD, my father was a physically and emotionally abusive alcoholic, I was the oldest and always bore the brunt. I witnessed my mother get shot in the head (she's alive), was taken from my mother by my father and moved across country, I experienced CSA from one of my father's relatives and that completely decimated any semblance of or opportunity for any type of relationship with my father, he kicked me out the day I graduated high school, I continuously choose to attempt relationships with men who are older and typically emotionally abusive and/or manipulative, I continued to experience sexual abuse as an adult, I have substance abuse issues, a suicide attempt, problems with interpersonal relationships and communication skills, incapable of holding down steady employment, and I'm estranged on some level from my ENTIRE family.

Quite a fine piece of work, eh? Despite being repeatedly victimized, I never wanted to BE a victim. I knew that I was somewhat a victim of circumstance, but I also knew that I had the option to CHOOSE to be an active participant in my life and the direction and progression there of. I refuse to apologize for who I am, good and bad - I'm a product of experience and I'm thrilled with the masterpiece I am becoming. There's good days and bad, and more is yet to come. For now, my main goal is to begin healing in a therapeutic way and continuing to be Unapologetically Charlie