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Dear Kubali
I know that feeling very well that when a person to whom I was able to bond leaves or just goes on vacation the adult part in me knows that they are not  gone but the inner child which gets triggered does not know that  and reasoning helps nothing.
I unfortunately have no trick I could share to help you feel better.. When I can I also curl up on my bed and hope it is soon over. Maybe the things you can do when you have an Emotional Flashback can help.
I know that the memories of what happen in my first 2 years of age when I was in the orphanage are locked in that little child and when it gets triggered the child takes possession of me.
It happens to me with my Therapist, what helps is that I write her an email it gives me the feeling I am in contact with her an she is not gone. Maybe you can write an sms or call you Daughter it might help to feel less abandoned.
I send you a big 
ET

Hi Kabuli and rftm
Kabul I never manage to cry but I am sure it would help a lot.
Rftm movement also helps me and music. I go jogging it also helps me feel better my body.
But during work you can not start jogging
When I am in that state I have to concentrate a lot to not lose the track . Do you also feel quite exshaused when that happens?
Big Hug 
ET

Hi Kubali
Thanks for your reply. As you I also can not feel what I should feel with the things going on
at the outside I know I should feel a certain feeling in that situation but I can not, then it increases the
empty feeling.
Sometimes I can see a trigger but other times not it just comes. As you describe it can last an hour or days. Is there anything you found out to help you during this emptiness ?
I just know that it is less stressful when I avoid being around with people because it costs a lot of energy trying to interact when 2 different films are taking place at the same time.
Send you a big hug
ET

Sorry for not having taken part in the forum the last months. I hope you don't mind.
I hope my question is not to personal ( maybe my question could trigger you  )
but I was wondering if some of you also have periods where you feel totally empty inside although the life outside is not at all empty. It feels like two films going on at the same time which just don't fit together and makes sometimes the feeling worse because nothing from outside can help the parts inside.
Send you all a big hug 
ET

Hi Des
Wellcome.
I am quite new here to but the forum has became a bit like a safe
harbour for me. When I feel loney or the day has been not so good I have
a quick look whats new in forum or information about cptsd and I feel
better I have the feeling I am not alone. I know it can not replace
a therapie or the direct contact with a therapist but I hope and wish it will
also give you the feeling of a safe harbour and give you comfort as it has become
for me.
Take care

Hi Badmemories
I feel guilty and also blame myself for his
death. When we found his letter he left I hoped to
find reconciliation but it was everything but that and he
blamed me for it. The idear that he must have hated me so much
to kill himself ist not easy to digest
For the left behind it is not easy when someone takes his life.,but I hope
that time will heal our wounds.

Hi 
I don't know if that what I am experience are EF.
I am quite a activ person or better said I have a activ part.
It can happen that from one minute to the other I am suddenly in a dark pit
and feelings of total emptiness is in my head.
It is scary when that happens. Is that a EF?

Dear badmemories
I am sorry to read that you lost 2 brothers that way.
It must be really  hard for you.
Thanks for telling me.
Take care
ET

Hi Thank for all your responses and encouragement
and advise 
It feels good to be here 
Take care
ET

Thanks for all the sympathy 
To your question Rain:  I am in Therapie again.  I was at the age of 16 already
in treatment against the will of my mother she found that there was no reason
to go get help so I went without her knowing and I think it saved my life.
But what was really hard was that the inner child got very very attached to the therapist
when I had to leave  to do my studies 250 km away it really really hurt.
Since then I tried to avoid to get help it was to scary and painfull but when that happend
with my husband I know all alone it would be very hard. But it is scary because the inner child
got attached again.

I am really happy that my daughter is doing good, the first 2 years she was always scared that something could Happen to me. But with therapie she got over it. Due to the fact that she had
no good relationship with her father she does not miss him. We are a good Team together.

I have been very lucky and found a very nice and new partner.
But to your question Rain: I have a great daughter and kind partner.
But already since very small I am unable to tell people what is not okay.
It is to scary and it would be very difficult to explain. The active part is scared
that the inner parts would interfere which they do during therapie but there it is okay.
But it would not be good if they start interfering in my activ live to often ( they do from time to time
and I try my best that no one notices)
It feels like being an imposter but for the moment I am not able to do otherwise.

It feels good to be able to write all this down to people who can understand thank you.
Rain thanks for the information about the book I will try an get it.

Take care
ET

Thank you for the friendly wellcome.
I always thought that what happend to me left no damage but some how it did.
I spend my first two years of my Life in an orphanage. I was then adopted
but my adoptive mother would have been happier without me and my adoptive
father who wanted me in the family became alcoholic which did not really
help our family life. After leaving the family things were going well.
The Symptomen of c PTSD were there but since I always had
them I thought it was normal. With time they were no longer so strong.
Till 9 years ago when my husband began to drink a lot and began to become
aggressive verbally and physically . 5 years ago when I no longer could
take it ( especially in the interest of my daughter) I got separated.
2 months later he commited suicide blaming me for it.
All this made my symptomes appear again quite strong ( causing me to lose
my job).
In my outer life I have managed to get back on my feet but my inner life
is quite a mess. So it is comforting to know my symptoms are not because
I am crazy but they are due to the c PTSD I have.

Hi there 

I was diagnosed with c-ptsd and happy to find this platform.
It is nice to know that I am not alone with the symptoms.