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Hi all

I've posted on here a couple of times but a lot of the time I've found it quite daunting.  About a year ago I was feeling like I was getting better and could possibly even be some support to others and then it all seemed to go down again. 
Currently I'm doing pretty ok but I'm really very cautious. 
I've had so many different types of therapy but what seems to be working is a combination of lots of things making little dents in this thing.
As well as being on an antidepressant and an antipsychotic medication, I have EMDR, neurofeedback, I do TRE, I have a grounding mat, I think my acupuncture mat helps me, sometimes I can cope with breathing (sometimes but so much!).

Anyway, I'm trying to be careful with my energy and time but if anyone wants to share anything I have some space to listen right now.
At many points in coping with this I've found myself jealous of my friend who is a recovering alcoholic simply because of the support structures that are in place.  Wherever he is in the world it seems there's a group he can go to and gosh I would have loved a sponsor at many points!  I'm aware that being jealous of someone battling with alcoholism is slightly on the crazy side but what I'm jealous of is the support that exists out in the open for addiction I guess.

Maybe we need CPTSD sponsors!  It's easy to feel alone

Love to everyone wherever you're at x

Once it hits about 5 / 6 pm for me.  I'm on medication and, under the supervision of my psychiatrist, have been taking a small extra dose of this at lunch time and at dinner time and this seems to help keep this at bay a little.  The only way I've been able to explain it to other people is by comparing it to the period of time after a loved one has died and you wake up in the morning and for a few seconds things are normal and then a wave of reality, and grief hits you and everything is wrong and too hard to contemplate moving forward.  That wave is what seems to happen out of a relatively ok day.

Thank you both.  It's just nice to be able to share with people who understand.

I know this has been touched on but I keep having nightmares about things that are, on the surface, unrelated to my Trauma.  Last night, for example, I was under attack by some sort of armed group in the place I work.  What's harder about these dreams is that I wake up uncontrollably upset and being comfort3d by a friend only to realise that that is all a dream, I then wake up shaking and sobbing holding the bed being held by my partner only to find....nope, still a dream.  I then wake up for real completely silently and emotionless as my childhood trauma taught me to be but not being certain of what reality is anymore.  I find hold the bed frame and opening the window to get air on my face helps.
I'm not really expecting anyone to be able to help but I wanted to be able to share knowing that someone reading it understands, and understands the impact it has despite it  being 'just a dream'.
This is my first post, I hope what I've written is acceptable.

Hi

I got diagnosed with complex ptsd last year and it was quite overwhelming. 
Due to the nature of my experience I'm estranged from my parents and a lot of my family, plus I'm recently separated from my husband.
I'm feeling very alone at the moment but find it almost impossible to let anyone in.

It would be nice to communicate with people that don't need me to teach them about cptsd but just get it.
Everything is difficult at the moment.