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What I did to find a treatment was to contact a non profit counseling center that only deals with survivors of trauma and crime. The one they use is seeking safety, which goes through treatment in stages, the first stage focuses on coping skills and safety, the second on processing trauma, and the third is reintegrating the trauma with your life. It has been helpful so far.

Thanks to both of you for your kind words. It makes me feel welcome. Sorry I am not too articulate right now... It is nice to know that others have experienced the same thing. I am doing all the right steps to get disability, so hopefully it will work out. It is two weeks away... I feel like I just need to get through this and I'll be okay.

I'm new here, I'm glad I found this place. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD after going into counseling for past trauma. I also have major depressive disorder, social phobia, and gad. For about 3 years I have been unable to function, and have been battling severe depression and anxiety. I have always had depression and anxiety and have usually been able to function.... Until I quit drinking 5 years ago and went into grad school for social work. I had a huge breakdown after I left school and was unable to find a job. Now I'm wondering if all my problems are actually caused by ptsd and not depression and anxiety, if what actually happened was that I was re traumatized and triggered.

I am currently applying for disability and have a hearing this month, after which I will know the decision after 1-3 months. I'm in a bad spot, and am in danger of becoming homeless (as I have not paid my rent in almost a year). The worst part about this experience is that the mental health and social service system has been very re traumatizing for me-- they don't care if you could become homeless, if you don't have enough money for rent, if your foodstamps aren't adequate or don't have money for transportation. They label you, shame you, and stigmatize you. Or, if you're not in a specific population, you can't qualify for certain services (e.g. Not eligible for half fare metro card because I'm not on disability, can't get public housing because I'm not homeless). It's stuff that doesn't make sense, but they don't even care about it. It has also been shaming that I have experience as a mental health professional, but have had to go through this experience as a client. I even ran into a former classmate at the welfare office and now I'm paranoid that people I know will find out who I've become.

I have also been in a long term relationship which hasn't been helpful. Since I've gotten sick, my boyfriend has been unsupportive financially and emotionally, blaming me and my depression for our relationship problems and not wanting to live together, saying that he didn't want to feel trapped or like he had to take care of me. I found out recently that he is a sex addict, which puts a new light on things. I have to decide this week whether or not to continue the relationship, or whether I want to even try any more or have enough love for him to do so.

So, right now, I'm hoping I can survive enough to be able to get stable housing and feel safe enough so that I can heal... But it's tough to think that I can survive this and be able to return to having a full time job or be able to succeed in life. I feel I've tried hard in life and have nothing to show for it. But I am still hoping that I get can through this and heal. I have to believe that there's a way I can get through this and become a happy and a healthy person.