Hi,
I'm not gonna give my real name, and I can't think of an alias so we'll have to go with Fireworkgirl. I'll try to keep this as brief as possible and I'm really sorry if my story triggers anyone.
I'm 26. Female. I live in England, and I've only very recently started to accept that I have cPSTD.
Father died last year, he was mentally ill (he would tell us different things through his parents so we never had closure on why he did the things he did). My father was emotionally abusive, and someone I would see as a threat. There are some other things that I need to work with a professional on, but I think the abuse went further than emotional. My brother molested me when I was 8, he was 11. My memory is patchy, as you can all probably relate to, so I can't say for sure how many times it happened.
My father turned all of our lives upside down when I was 15, and my parents separated. Mother was always distant and emotionally unavailable due to losing her parents from suicide when she was 9. At 18 I was kicked out of the family home and became homeless, living in different temporary accommodations and a hostel (hostels for troubled young people are not a good place to be).
I had a couple of abusive relationships. Since my Father died I've never felt like this. I've had three attempts since his death, and a break up due to my inability to leave my home, eat, clean and be a girlfriend.
I'm due to be assigned a care coordinator to help me find the right support for my trauma and struggles with relationships. So that's a really positive thing, but I'm still here, sat on my bed with mouldy food around me, unable to tell the landlord the boiler has died so I've had no hot water for a month. At least I'm utilising the cold shower method ha.
I just don't want to feel so alone and alien, you know?
I'm not gonna give my real name, and I can't think of an alias so we'll have to go with Fireworkgirl. I'll try to keep this as brief as possible and I'm really sorry if my story triggers anyone.
I'm 26. Female. I live in England, and I've only very recently started to accept that I have cPSTD.
Father died last year, he was mentally ill (he would tell us different things through his parents so we never had closure on why he did the things he did). My father was emotionally abusive, and someone I would see as a threat. There are some other things that I need to work with a professional on, but I think the abuse went further than emotional. My brother molested me when I was 8, he was 11. My memory is patchy, as you can all probably relate to, so I can't say for sure how many times it happened.
My father turned all of our lives upside down when I was 15, and my parents separated. Mother was always distant and emotionally unavailable due to losing her parents from suicide when she was 9. At 18 I was kicked out of the family home and became homeless, living in different temporary accommodations and a hostel (hostels for troubled young people are not a good place to be).
I had a couple of abusive relationships. Since my Father died I've never felt like this. I've had three attempts since his death, and a break up due to my inability to leave my home, eat, clean and be a girlfriend.
I'm due to be assigned a care coordinator to help me find the right support for my trauma and struggles with relationships. So that's a really positive thing, but I'm still here, sat on my bed with mouldy food around me, unable to tell the landlord the boiler has died so I've had no hot water for a month. At least I'm utilising the cold shower method ha.
I just don't want to feel so alone and alien, you know?