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Thank you, Armee!

So, self education. I got a couple lows from this CGM, so I decided to look up overnight hypoglycemic episodes for diabetics, see if it really wasn't the monitor. (when I research, I only use legit scientific sites) I was a bit aggravated because the results all said to eat CARBS right before bed. I was having a protein shake because I quite logically knew protein takes longer to digest and keeps your blood sugar more even, but apparently that's not what's needed before bed. I was all "fine, make up your mind, can I have carbs or not, I'll try it". So instead of my protein shake, I had a peanut butter sandwich using one slice of bread, and a glass of milk. Ya'll... It worked. It's worked 3 nights in a row now. No lows, no alarms, No getting up unless I need to use the restroom which is usual as one ages. But! Get this...

Guess what some symptoms of those nightly low blood sugars are. Sweating, and vivid dreams or nightmares, as well as maybe waking up with heart racing or panting. The sweating thing is so common, the sites even advised if you have a diabetic kid to check if the back of their neck is clammy at night. And these past three nights, I've nibbled down half a slice of bread when I get up to use the restroom, usually around 3am or so, which is when they were happening. The research said that's usually when it happens. I've slept better, not sweated nearly as much, and dreams are normal. I'll continue testing because 3 nights is nowhere near a statistically valid sample size for an experiment, but I'm hopeful. And while it's carbs and spikes my sugar a little, it's still nowhere near enough to cause a high alarm. Heck, 2 tiny satsuma oranges spike me worse than that.

But imagine if a percentage of my nightmares could be solved with the way I eat... Wow.

Also, submitted two poems to a contest today. It's a literary journal, so I won't hear for several months, but fingers crossed!

Hugs, san!

So, had a big positive today. I am one of the winners in a state-wide poetry contest. I'm not linking since we can't do the personal info here, but I'm so thrilled! There will be a live reading next month, too. The prize is a pass that gives me one entry to each of at least 15 different state museums and parks, and I have a year to use it from its first use. Super awesome! It was a juried contest, so my therapist and I are firmly putting that in the "improve my self-esteem" category of the care plan.

Also, turns out I don't have to pay any taxes, so I'm good on that. Yay for a local tax pro, totally worth her reasonable fee.

Hugs, San!

yeah, this provider has been good. I mentioned getting a titer test Monday when I saw her (explanation in a moment) and she was "ok, sure". The lab is just next door-ish, which is handy and I had my results the next day. So, a titer test can tell what vaccines you've had. I do not have my childhood records. Being a military kid, I looked up how to get those, and it's insane. They're filed by facility! Like, I don't even remember what state I lived in whenever I got those, much less the facility. And, I'd have to have the military member's social security number. I've never had that information. I was born in 1970, and that was at a time when you got 1 dose and they didn't recommend 2 doses until 1989. But, we'd gone to Asian countries when I was 6, so I presume I got more vaccines than other kids. Anyhow, it came back that my MMR (measles/mumps/rubella) is still good, I'm fine for it. I could go get a measles one if I want, but it's not totally necessary. Good to know, right? I might anyway simply because my BFF doesn't have the best immune system with all his issues.

I have the new CGM and the new one goes in next week. I laughed because smaller? Goodness, these two nearly equal one of the previous boxes. They still don't include an alcohol wipe with the applicator, though. That feels kinda cheap, in my opinion. Eh, I have some. I just hope this doesn't have the false low issues.

Still trying to stay even with everything happening. It's so hard. I did manage to do the Amazon week-long boycott. Well, it ends this Friday, but so far so good. While I have needed a few things, I've either found ways to get them elsewhere or not really needed them. It's quite interesting to see how utterly addictive that instant 2-day gratification was. I got a couple books for the BFF from an indie publisher, and some yarn from the company itself. I'm doing the Little House creative auction again. This year, I'm making a crocheted one, but not on a wood block. It'll look like a little fairy house made from a prickly pear cactus. Super appropriate for my area. I'll have to make a cardboard or wire frame to crochet over to put in the right size pot. Don't worry, I will take photos again. And I've submitted some poetry and writings to a few more journals/zines. Focusing on small projects helps distract me a bit here and there.

The digital cleanse is 99% done. Other than the calendar I have to share with my bro on Google, I'm off the big evil providers and have far better security and such. It definitely feels much better. Even got a new external hard drive for a complete backup. (amazing that 4Tb is under $100 these days) It also is extremely useful to have separate emails for things like health, shopping, hobbies, etc. They flow into one place, but I can see so easily what's important and what can wait. Getting off all those sites has also cut down on 99% of the junk email I used to get. Much, much less impulse shopping, even if a place I'm still on (like eyeglasses) offers a sale. I feel less pressure to get anything. It's nice to remove stress I didn't even realize was stress.

hugs to all who want them, still here and still support ya'll!

Thank you, Papa, San, and Chart!

Just got the text earlier that the new monitor Rx has been sent to the pharmacy. I do kinda look forward to the new one being a little smaller. I found a great resource at https://tcoyd.org, which is a nonprofit org called Take Control of Your Diabetes. The founder has a lot of experience and is an endocrinologist with a history of work at both the Veterans Admin and University of California-San Diego. So, not another money-making charlatan. He also wears a monitor and has for a long time. Lots of really good info and resources on there.

BFF and I went out and distributed the zine and flyers. It was an exhausting few hours, but loads of fun. Bein it was on the economic boycott day, we chose to have lunch at a local Vietnamese restaurant and use cash. That was nice, albeit paying with cash felt weird after so long. Literally, the only thing I use cash for anymore is getting change at the laundromat.

Therapy is going well enough. Of course, we talk about the huge amounts of anxiety the news gives me. I should ask her to revisit the careplan, since everything went so scary, I haven't thought much about my usual stuff. Well, consciously as much. I dissociated a lot due to the news and such.

Just... keepin' on. Doing what I can.

Issue figured out! That particular glucose monitor sensor was having issues near the end of its placement and throwing a couple false lows here and there. (this is why I do my own research) I put on the next one a day early and it's working just fine. And of course, I then get an email about the company discontinuing the Libre 2 in September, so be sure to get your provider to write a new Rx for the 3+!  LOL eh, it's apparently smaller, has a better distance range and can be on for 15 days instead of 14. *shrug* My PCP won't have a problem with it.

Had a good day yesterday. BFF and I went and had Salvadorean food for lunch, then had a folding/stapling party where we got issues of our zine put together. Then we watched "World's End". I love Simon Pegg movies and hadn't seen that one. It was great! Didn't realize Martin Freeman was in it. It was a fun time. We also put together the mini-zine about How To Protest Safely to distribute. Having that to focus on has helped some of the anxiety that balls up with every new thing in the news.

Random thought: I turn 55 in may. There will be quite a few restaurants where I can get the senior discount now. LOL

Totally, san. It's a severe appetite suppressant, and you feel full sooner so you can't eat as much. Like, it will make you feel terrible if you do. Ever eat so much your tummy physically feels tight and hurts? That. Today was a hard one. it's been on the low side with a lot of alarm dips. And I couldn't figure out how to fix it. Low enough to take a glucose tablet twice, shove down some greek yogurt, then a chicken salad sandwich, all within 3 hours. I just want uninterrupted sleep.

the arnica cream also isn't really doing much for the bruises. I'm thinking it's not a strong enough concentration, maybe.

I've also been doing a digital cleanse. Like, getting rid of websites I really don't need or don't use enough to make an account worth it. Goodness, it's so much more than I thought. I've only been through the shopping and gaming categories and I've done 131 line items. Although it does make me feel lighter, in a way. Whatever helps these days with everything else going on. At least it's a productive kind of avoidance, right?

Hugs, san, thank you.

Doc will handle the appeal, apparently Ozempic is insulin in a way and therefore I qualify.  Good. We'll see how that goes. And not increasing the dose right now, just continuing. Although cutting out all that sugar did have the effect of my losing 8lbs. not terribly surprising. And she's ok with a small treat now and then as long as I'm aware of how it causes peaks and drops. I'll probably turn to fruit first for all its benefits and I do like certain ones.

The ozempic injections do leave bruises, but I've always bruised easily. Hopefully the arnica cream I got will help. Lunch out tomorrow with my BFF, let's see how much I bring home in leftovers.

Hugs back, San, thank you!

Well, isn't that lovely. (sarcasm)  I got a letter from the insurance company. Medicare itself will not cover a continuous glucose monitor unless you:
A - are on insulin (I'm not)
B - Or have tried changing medications AND have had a "level 2" hypoglycemic event after changing meds
C - Or have had a "level 3" hypoglycemic event and have an attestation from someone that they had to help you during it.

So because I'm not bad enough to take insulin, they won't pay for them unless I almost die. Yet the ones I've had on so far have already detected WHEN  the hypoglycemic event is most likely to occur, when a couple almost occurred, and proves that I've learned how to prevent it. And because it's Medicare itself, an appeal is pointless.

I called my pharmacy and thank the gods, the discount card I have on file will make them affordable for me per month and it's cheaper than anywhere I can find online, even Canada. Still, a budget cost I hadn't wanted. I'm also kind of afraid to find out what my other meds may be the next time they need refills. I'm scared something I need will have gone up because that mango poop stain is letting the companies do so. There was an article about a young guy with asthma whose mom is suing because his asthma meds went from around $40 to over $500 and he died. I don't need this additional stress.

If you have ANYTHING that's a prescription, sign up for the GoodRx discount info for them and take it to your pharmacy to put on file. It might save your life.

Still here. Not so great, really. Just terrified and sick of what's been going on, now I have to worry if I'll even HAVE disability and Medicare this month. Several near-panic attacks even though I've been limiting the doomscrolling as much as I can. I've moved to more positive safer online places, but I still have to have some news just to know what's happening and not be taken by surprise.

Bro went and got Dutch Brothers the other day. My mocha was NOT the sugar free one I ordered. I was jittery and hyper for a couple hours and the ol' sugar spiked high. Not enough to set off an alarm, but I clearly was not given what I ordered and couldn't finish it. Explained why it tasted good, though. LOL Still, a little scary. Not even plain pasta spiked it anywhere near that bad.

Trying to focus and do what I can with what I'm capable of. So I'll be creating a little "How to Protest Safely" flyer in English and Spanish and dropping those in various free Little Library boxes around town soon. If I don't do something, I'll just freak out for the next four years.

On a positive note, though, I got some writing edited, submitted a poem to a local contest, and a couple others to a literary journal. Also made a calendar to easily see when various places have open submission windows. I will not be silenced.

hugs, Hope and San, thank you.

So. Currently, my insurance covers it. (medicare, the federal insurance for disabled and elderly, for our friends in other countries) I'm hoping that continues, given that the orange (expletive) signed an Executive Order rescinding Biden's order about lowering drug prices. We'll see what happens. The Ozempic has no generic and considered a "tier 3" med, which means if insurance didn't cover it, it wouldn't happen. It's nearly $1200 every 6 weeks without insurance. I can do the injection ok, but it's hard. it is a light sting but also leaves a light bruise. The glucose monitor, at least, doesn't sting. There's nothing but the pressure when I put it on. I suppose that's good. I also ordered these bandage-like covers that help keep it clean and such. And the app for it can silence all but the lowest blood sugar alarms while I sleep, cause that is SHRILL. Learning a whole new way of eating is annoying, and I don't mean just the food. It's the little "have some protein before bed" and "better little frequent meals than the big three." Eh, I'll find some kind of routine that works.

Talked to my therapist about the political climate. I did not want to be back in this state of terror and not knowing what's coming. And what he's done only so far is horrible. just reading some news headlines spirals me into panic attacks. Anyhow. I have to stop now, or I'll spiral again. I've been throwing myself into my crocheting and cozy peaceful games and the like, and my reading.

On a funny note, I had to put ben-gay on my hands because they were hurting the other day. Then my nose itched and I scratched it without thinking. I could only smell menthol for a couple hours. LOL Then for more positivity, I'm off FB and Instagram and found the federated replacements for those, so I'm realling enjoying being on Pixelfed. I even found a free place for a simple blog in the Fediverse. No centralized control, it's awesome. Everyone has been so supportive and nice in these better places. It definitely feels like decent community again after so, so long.

I'm going to have to be careful and really watch my mood. I can also see that the whole diabetes thing combined with the political junk is bringing on depression too. Sometimes I just want to sleep and not think. I'm fighting taking a nap right now, and it's only 11:30am. Ugh.  Just... ugh.

Ugh. so many things.  Ratio "soft baked bars" use allulose as a sweetener. Although they're a small 1-serving cookie, no GI issues with that so far.

So. They're going to talk to my insurance to see what continuous glucose monitor might be covered, cause I cannot * my fingers 3 times a day. And, joy of joys, I'm on a weekly Ozempic shot, which they gave me a month's worth while the insurance company will process a prior auth. Sigh. She showed me how to do it at the office for the first one. It does sting, yes, but not as much as a wasp once did. it's.... doable. I don't like it and it does sting, but it's doable. (plus it's the belly, and I have padding, LOL) Then I got more meds for the cholesterol and BP, as the current one isn't quite doing it.

Referral for pain management regarding the fibro, apparently he does something with nerves rather than prescribing meds. That's good, but I doubt much will happen. It's not like there's a cure for it. Also a referral to a psych to see if I can go off the prazosin for the nightmares since it's not helping the blood pressure any anyway. At least they're only 2 doors down, so that's convenient, AND they can get me in a week from today, surprisingly. Doc was only 40 minutes behind today. (rolls eyes).

I hate taking pills and the older I get, the more I have.   My inner critic really hits hard with each new pill, lots of guilt and shame, sense of failure, etc.  Have to talk to therapist about that more. And ironically, I take the fewest out of the people I know really well.

I'm just to freaking tired of being sick and tired. Sigh. Thank the gods for my Disability status, though. Back in a month for a bp followup and 3 for another sugar check. So much to keep track of, too! This is why I have 3 calendar/planners, or I'd forget so much.

Moderation. Although the Russell Stovers are tasty, only 3 pieces is clearly too excessive and you will regret it while having plenty of time in the bathroom to contemplate those life choices. That'll have to be a 1-small-piece-maybe-half treat. BFF told me about a SF chocolate bar that doesn't do that. I'll try it later, as they're nearly $4.50 at the store. Oof. Didn't really see anything else super special at the store, alas. But I did find the Greek yogurt I know I like. Oikos Zero, I've had it before and it's ok.

On a positive note, had a charcuterie-style dinner with the BFF last night and then watched 84 Charing Cross Road, with Anne Bancroft and Sir Anthony Hopkins. I'd just finished reading the book and adored it. Movie was an excellent treatment. So that was a lovely evening.

PC: I'm not a big candy eater, but pasta is hard because it's an easy meal when the pain hits. And I love bread. I did find some treats on Amazon, so I'm trying those today and will check the store maybe tomorrow to see what they have. I found russell stover SF chocolates, SF reese's mini cups, a Fiber One "cookie" that's surprisingly good, and a keto brownie mix. (I do see the keto options, Chart, those might help if they taste okay.) Bro has SF Voortman's cookies and the shortbread was surprisingly not terrible, if a wee bit drier than normal. It'd be good with tea. It's just such a big shift, I know.

OK, holy carp, the Russell Stovers are good! I have a mixed bag here and even though the pieces are tiny, the coconut one tastes exactly like a Mounds bar. A tiny piece can satisfy the craving, so this is impressive.

Good point, PC. I do like Oikos zero greek yogurt, and I mix grape-nuts into it. LOL It's doable, just seems overwhelming in the beginning.  Yesterday's Costco trip was depressing as heck to pass by the muffins! LOL But I do have sugarfree peanut butter and I had my bro get some SF jelly to go with it. it'll just take practice, and we'll see what the doc says next week, too.

Hugs all. I think I can control my diet without a lot of effort.  3 days on Metformin now and I've noticed a couple things. I'm not really having the side effects strongly, but they're there. I was playing a puzzle game just now, and all of a sudden, ball of awful nausea exists right under the diaphragm. Like, I was afraid to breathe hard for a few minutes. I'm having some ginger tea now, but it's still slightly there. And yes, I had it with a meal like I'm supposed to. UGH. Let's hope this only lasts a couple weeks at most, like she said.  Preferably less than that, good lord. It's also going to be interesting figuring out what to eat for breakfast to take it with, since I don't like most breakfast foods. I'll just have normal stuff, but I also don't get hungry right away after waking up. This is so much work and brain-ing. it's exhausting.