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On the one hand, I have a deep-seated fear of anyone and everyone, a natural hypersensitivity easily traced back to the effects of c-ptsd. 

Counter to this fear, however,  was a notion that surely there's somebody I will be able to relate to. What happened is I'd flip  the careful suspicion of everyone to one of blind trust. And, a bunch of times found the trust entirely shattered when I was taken advantage.

Same. I'm working on this, but it's a tough pattern to break.

I'm so sorry you lost your best friend and a person who could see you and understand. I lost a loved one to suicide a few years ago, also someone with CPTSD who I was very close to and shared the early recovery road with. You're not alone.

Just adding support. It's so, so hard to put up a boundary with a friend and put your own needs first, especially when there's no one else you're close to. Echoing what Kizzie said about trusting yourself to choose healthier friends -- they are out there.

Just to say I empathize. I have a similar story -- I also had memories of incest that came back later in pieces, and I went no-contact with my parents when I started to understand what they did. You say it's not a crystal clear storyline, and that's exactly how memories feel. You're not alone.

I'm sorry about the pain you're going through. Strength to you.

Hello,

Been lurking for a while and decided to introduce myself. I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse and other forms of family violence. I've been looking more at the ways CPTSD intersects with my life lately. I've been needing community more since the shutdown started. And some relationships are showing me that my stuff needs attention.

I visit a few boards like this, hardly ever post, but it helps to know others like me are out there.

Anyway, hi. Thanks for being here.

Alder