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Messages - Larry

#1
thank you hope ,
still a little congested,  feels like it will never end.    I had a few drinks yesterday,  probably should not have driven home.   not going to beat myself up about it.   i don't want to drink,  just so tired of being consumed by the constant struggle.  tired of counting the days.
  i went to the gym yesterday,  that always makes me feel better.   working this afternoon. 
#2
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal 2024
March 22, 2024, 03:34:51 PM
 ;)   
#3
thank you hope  ;)
 doing some things around the house this morning,   going to the gym soon.   i lost 7 pounds last week due to not feeling well,  but gained 3 pounds back.   
#4
I had 4 shots yesterday with some co workers,  it felt great,   i didn't over drink,  and i felt normal like everyone else,   i don't want to drink everyday,  but i just can't take the pressure.  so today is day 1,   and maybe i am not thinking clearly when i say i feel normal when drinking.    i think i am a little lost,  but i feel good.  I don't want to use alcohol to cope,  i really don't want to drink at all.    i don't know why i am so consumed by this.   
 I went to the gym yesterday,  first day in almost a week as i wasn't feeling well.   going to go again tomorrow.   
#5
welcome ghost
#6
welcome andy, 
#7
i love all of you,  thank you for being here.

the last few days have been good,  other than having sinus congestion and feeling terrible.  I haven't been to the gym in a week,  i really miss it,  just have had no energy.  hoping to go tomorrow.  day 6 without a drink,   i am trying not to focus on that number,  trying not to put so much pressure on myself. 
#8
thank you narckiddo and hope,   i didn't drink,   i took sevreal hydroxyzine pills and went to sleep.   I am trying to find a way to get back in therapy.   
#9
today was good,  until a few hours ago.  I don't know why,  I get depressed ,  i start feeling negative emotions and getting negative thoughts.   I want to drink,  but not because i want alcohol,  i think it's because i want to hurt myself.  it is going to be a hard night
#10
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal 2024
March 02, 2024, 12:48:41 AM
 ;)   
#11
thank you so much papa coco !!     today is 15 days,  went to the gym and trying to eat.  I still get depressed and feel isolated,  not sure what i can do about that right now.

I didn't start theater stuff until later in life.  I really enjoy it,  you get to be someone else.  I like to do comedies.  it is such a good feeling making people laugh. 
#12
hi and welcome  ;)
#13
Recovery Journals / Re: Learning to heal, Larry's journey
February 26, 2024, 07:13:10 PM
thank you NarcKiddo,  we are doing the mousetrap by Agatha Christie,   i have been in several shows at the theater,   i really enjoy it.   
#14
Recovery Journals / Re: Learning to heal, Larry's journey
February 26, 2024, 04:31:45 PM
thank you PC !
  Today is day 10 without a drink.   it feels awkward to count the days.   I feel like i can have a few drinks,   i just don't want to use alcohol to escape anymore.  I went for a bicycle ride yesterday,   first tie ina while.   it felt nice.  going to the gym later today.   
i am going to be in a show at the local theater,  i really enjoy that,   the cast is always supportive and feels like family
#15
Recovery Journals / Re: dollyvee's recovery journal
February 26, 2024, 04:28:00 PM
 ;)