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Messages - Kizzie

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Employment / Re: working on getting a new job
« on: August 22, 2019, 07:03:11 PM »
FWIW I think you handled this well Notalone  :thumbup:   

Hope lunch out with your friends was lovely  :)

Sleep Issues / Re: My dreams are a changin'
« on: August 22, 2019, 06:39:45 PM »
Glad to hear you had a more positive dream to balance things Regret  :thumbup:

I wonder if it (having some negative dreams) is you taking letting some more of your trauma (seeing/feeling something you haven't quite dealt with yet) surface in your sleep in preparation for re-scripting it?  :Idunno:

General Discussion / Re: cPTSD is not a mental illness (??)
« on: August 22, 2019, 06:31:57 PM »
You're so right Johnram - IT ISN'T US! Shouting b/c it's such an important message for us and those we deal with - CPTSD is really all about injuries inflicted on us at the hands of others.  :yes:

You are welcome to post the link by the way.

Announcements / Re: Complex PTSD at Nov ISTSS Annual Mtg
« on: August 22, 2019, 06:17:05 PM »
If/when I do hear back about this I will post about it of course.  :yes:

What is Complex PTSD? / Re: How did you first hear of CPTSD?
« on: August 21, 2019, 06:22:48 PM »
I read about it in Pete Walker's book "CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" and it resonated.  I was relieved to finally have a name for what I was struggling with but at the same time scared about whether/how I could recover and angry that this had happened to me.   

Just curious how you yourself found out about CPTSD Harmony and how you felt/feel?

Family of Origin (FOO) / Re: I unblocked their email addresses
« on: August 21, 2019, 06:14:03 PM »
I don't know if this will help Gromit but wanted to share in case it does.  My NPD M had cancer a few years back and I had a really mixed up reaction of wanting/needing to protect myself and a humane part of me wanting to extend some compassion/care. 

Just thinking about it is a bit triggering b/c it was like walking through a minefield.  There was no simple or good answer on how to deal with the situation, that is reaching out to a person who has abused you and risking they will behave similarly yet again, getting caught up in the thing that caused your CPTSD.

I just did the best I could to care for myself in the face of what I knew would be triggering/trauma inducing.  I did not go to where my M lives for her surgery/recovery -- way too much, but I did tell her as you did your F that I was sorry she was ill. My H went there on business and he visited her and spoke to her doctor so we had the real facts about her cancer and her prognosis (which was good). 

There wasn't much I wanted to do beyond that b/c it would hurt me and I had to work on being OK with that. 

Hope some of this is helpful  :hug:

Eating Issues / Re: Issues with Over/Under Eating - Part 3
« on: August 21, 2019, 05:54:14 PM »
Well now that's interesting - adrenaline as the culprit.  It's certainly a part of our hypervigilance symptom, all that revved up anxiety. Anyway, glad it's over and hope your son gets positive results back  :)

Introductory Post / Re: New here and new to CPTSD
« on: August 21, 2019, 05:46:22 PM »
the process of healing involves understanding, deeply in my mind, body and soul, and bit by bit, that the thoughts and symptoms I experienced for so long and thought were 'normal, albeit neurotic', or just the way I developed emotionally, were in fact the results of injuries to my mind, body and soul that I experienced at the hands of other humans. This understanding, as I gain it bit by bit, gives me relief. 


Could not agree more with what BluePalm wrote Chuck. Those in the MH field may label us as having a stress disorder, but to truly understand CPTSD is to know we have been deeply injured by others, mind, body and soul.

New Members / Re: Newbie
« on: August 21, 2019, 05:38:41 PM »
a life of strained survival

Such a perfect description of what life is like on a daily basis for so many of us sadly. Hopefully none of us will have to live like this for the whole of our lives as CPTSD becomes more widely recognized and better treatments are developed. Are you working with a therapist B2B?

Other / Re: The Healing Porch - Part 6
« on: August 21, 2019, 05:30:07 PM »
I would love to go out in the boat with you San and just lay back and look at the sky while you and Snowdrop fish. 

Announcements / Re: Complex PTSD at Nov ISTSS Annual Mtg
« on: August 21, 2019, 05:25:20 PM »
Tks for weighing in BluePalm (glad you're back  :) ).

I hope I can get them to hear me about this.  I won't be attending the meeting unfortunately but can certainly ask one of my fellow CoChairs who is to broach this at the panel session. The panelists are all well known leaders in the field of trauma so it couldn't hurt and there's nothing to lose really. If nothing else it may plant a seed.

Checking Out / Re: Leaving, for a while at least
« on: August 21, 2019, 05:02:47 PM »
Welcome back BluePalm, so glad to hear you are in a better place :grouphug:

Introductory Post / Re: Square One
« on: August 20, 2019, 04:32:32 PM »
 :yeahthat: CPTSD truly is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation, that is ongoing relational trauma such as the CSA you suffered.

Most of here know hard it is to deal with losing so much of your life to CPTSD. I hope knowing you are not alone any more will provide a measure of comfort. :grouphug:

Eating Issues / Re: Issues with Over/Under Eating - Part 3
« on: August 20, 2019, 03:56:52 PM »
I think a lot of it is to do with co-dependency issues, I am effected by everyone else's moods and needs to my own detriment.

Having been raised by parents with NPD I am the same - very much attuned and reactive to the moods/needs of others. And like you I see my symptoms as signalling to me I need to pay more attention to my needs and feelings. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to get to the bottom of yours Gromit so :thumbup: 

(Note:  I think your post is fine here but if you'd like me to move this to a separate thread so you can explore the topic/get more responses I would be happy to do so just PM me. )

Recovery Journals / Re: Kizzie's Journal
« on: August 20, 2019, 03:41:17 PM »

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