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I have had this issue my whole life. For me it wasn't getting good grades or being on the top of my class. I grew up in a very abusive home (physically, emotionally, sexually, mentally, psychologically etc) and all I ever wanted was my mother to love me so I cleaned the house where eight people lived (Mother, Step Father, 3 older brothers and two step sisters) I cooked, I dealt with everyone and even tried to be "there" for their needs that I was getting used for and it all didn't get me any love or any recognition. It actually has gotten so bad that when my father got custody of me and got me out of that situation I tried to kill myself by infection so that I would get recognized from my mother. (Even though she wouldn't have care if she even heard about it.) None of it worked because less than a year after my father got custody of me she sent me two big boxes of junk...papers saying how I would never leave her etc....and dis owned me. I was just a tool in her game for 11 years as I grew up. And the problem of being "shiny" is still a huge problem for me. I try to please everyone around me. It didn't end 8 years ago when I got out of the situation.

I never knew there was a proper term for that ^, but it helps me to know that it is 'something'. Thank you.

I am just currently learning about C-PTSD. I have researched but I feel that reading about it is totally different than "talking" or reading about people's personal experiences. And honestly, I am confused. I know 'what' C-PTSD is...but the more I read posts from this site the more I don't know, I feel like.  I have a psychologist appointment set up for this week but in this past month alone I have had two different doctors tell me that I have PTSD. I feel like I have C-PTSD though because of the fact that my abuse/rap/kidnapping/sex trafficking started when I was less than 18 months and lasted until I was 12...And reading what I have read from medical websites there are two requirements if you will that you have to fulfill: 
                      -long time
                      -started at a young age
I found the above at a different website, but this is good information to support my thought process I think.

(http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/PTSD-overview/complex-ptsd.asp)
                                     What types of trauma are associated with Complex PTSD?

                                     During long-term traumas, the victim is generally held in a state of captivity, physically or emotionally,
                                     according to Dr. Herman (1). In these situations the victim is under the control of the perpetrator and
                                     unable to get away from the danger.
                                     Examples of such traumatic situations include:
                                     Concentration camps
                                     Prisoner of War camps
                                     Prostitution brothels
                                     Long-term domestic violence
                                     Long-term child physical abuse
                                     Long-term child sexual abuse
                                     Organized child exploitation rings

And so I am very confused. What I have read here it seems that I have a lot of similarities of the people here, but why haven't I been diagnosed with C-PTSD? Did I just make up something....? Or haven't I been honest enough? I have a very hard time saying exactly what goes on. I tend to hide everything within myself. I just handle it or stuff it down so that I can function. And I am confused but at the same scared. I have decided to see a psychologist this time to help me figure out what it is that I do have while I go to a therapist on the side.  I just don't know...I have mentioned C-PTSD to a couple Dr.s I saw and they both nodded their heads but didn't say anything about it... I guess I will figure it out when I have my appointments.

Has anyone else had these issues? Or I am the only one?...

Hello,

I am terribly sorry for the feelings that are haunting you today. I don't expect this to help, but let me tell you that you aren't alone. I am a full time college student with three jobs, a disabled father and so many problems within myself that I can barely function some days. I am taking 12 credits, at the community college I am at. I am an academic advising assistant, seamstress, and a sales person that gets home anywhere from 3:20 to 4:30 everyday Monday through Thursday and then spend 32-38 hours Friday-Sunday selling and helping my grandparents out (my sales person job). To add onto it, I have all of my problems. It started from when I was born and got worse when I was 18 months old and lasted until I was 12. I am 20 now.

I have those feelings of just wanting to be "normal". Why couldn't I be born into a life, a family,  without any abuse, anger, child trafficking etc? Why couldn't the people on this forum just be born into "normal" lives?! And that's just not how it happens. :/ Sadly. It is horrible. On those days that I get so overwhelmed that I could just lay in my bed and breakdown and cry from 8 am to 8 pm what I tend to do is settle within myself. It's not normal, but it helps me just get through until I get home.

And while I don't know who you are or what you have gone through, I know for a fact that you can make it. Make it until the time that you can get to your safe area. I hope that my post helped you in someway. I didn't mean to rant about myself, my point was to make you feel less alone because I know I feel alone most days. You are not alone and you CAN do it (whatever "it" is for you).

Support from a stranger that cares and understands.(: 

Hi all,

I am new here. This is the first forum that I have used to discuss things such as this. I normally just struggle within myself while talking to my father and the people I see about this. I am a college student that has one heck of a childhood as I think most of you have. I am currently in the process of seeing my third specialist since 12 (I am 20) when my father got custody of me after 11 years. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Depression and I have no idea what else. I wanted to understand PTSD and what I could do to live a better life when I came across C-PTSD and I was terrified at what I found. It fit a little too well. I had no idea what C-PTSD was and I didn't like that fact that it described me so well. I decided to research C-PTSD like I did with PTSD. That is when I ran across this website along with other medical sites. I first saw this website/forum probably a month to a month and a half ago. It made me feel better but I wasn't sure if I really wanted to post. It seemed weird for me. My life has been getting harder for me lately and when I found this website again I figured I would give it a chance. I hope it is as supportive as it seems it is for others.

I know that was long but I feel like I have to justify my choice to post...Sorry.

Thank you for taking time to read it.