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Messages - Pammie

#1
Friends / Re: Isolation and lack of social skills
March 07, 2017, 01:06:19 AM
I have a lot of people in my life from childhood and all developmental stages of my life, I'm 56, that call me their friend and that I love and adore but for some reason I don't believe they love me, they love me  and they are patient with me  and somehow intuitively  they know and I told me that one day  I am going to learn that they really do love me, they're not mean to me, they don't give me any reason and I'm constantly worried that they're going to find out something horrible about me and hate me when there is really nothing horrible about me. It took me a long time to believe that anybody loved me and when I did believe it I ran away, even as an adult, out of the Clear Blue Sky I moved one day without notice to Arizona and then one day without noticed to anybody from Arizona back to California and then California to Michigan and now Michigan to Oklahoma. I just get too scared that they're going to find out that I am a monster and I don't want to hurt these people that love me and that I love. We keep in touch on Facebook and with text messages messaging. I don't do phone calls because it brings me to close it's like a face to face but messaging and Facebook keep it at a distance. I think it's just the way that we see the world after what we've been through in life. I don't know how to let people get close to me I want to so so bad but I'm too scared.
#2
Friends / Scared
March 07, 2017, 12:50:50 AM
hi I am new here I am 56 and I just got diagnosed. I don't make friends very well because I isolate myself. I can be a social butterfly in a group situation no problem but but to develop a close friendship or wonder One friendship is terribly frightening for me I don't know how to do it. I met somebody at church and she is being my friend by texting me and I'm not sure what she wants. I do not want to get into a loving relationship at this point my life not until I'm more healthy and I can learn how not to get into a abusive situation or maybe just never. I can't read people I see everybody is trying to do something wrong to me how can I tell that I am safe with somebody?