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I thought I would chime in with my experience.

I'm dx with schizoaffective and c-ptsd. Meaning a mood disorder (depression) and psychosis (hallucinations). Now with my recent psychoeducation, I'm starting to think that my hallucinations of voices and seeing people were actually sub-parts of my ego, sort of like fractured parts of me. The persecutory voice was my inner critic, there were inner children, managers, exiles, firefighters, etc... I'm not saying this is DID. I think this is my internal family, if you believe in the IFS theory. And my c-ptsd triggered it coming into my awareness and I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't cope and had a breakdown.

BTW I no longer hallucinate. I found a medication that works. This proves that I do not have DID as medication does not work for those dx with DID, or so I have read. I no longer dissociate and lose time like I used to. Although my memory is junk when I get stressed. I don't have contact with those inner children anymore just that vicious inner critic telling me I'm worthless.

I can totally relate. There was no privacy in my childhood home either. The worst was the bathroom. At any moment, either parent could walk in while you were showering or pottying. It was so humiliating, embarrassing especially as a teenager. Any time you shut a door in the house for privacy, oh boy you were in trouble.

Thanks for your kind replies. I've been doing some heavy reading lately. Right now its "Freedom from your Inner Critic." Psychoeducation - I like that term, I'm trying to soak in as much as possible. My bf told me to be careful dx myself and throwing around all these terms and ideas. I appreciate his concern but I've found a good therapist now after a lot of bad ones, and we are starting to work together. I've been bouncing most of what I've learned off of her. Another thing that really helped me in my healing thus far was extensive DBT. I learned so much from the groups I attended over the last 2 years. So many good coping skills. I highly recommend DBT to everyone.

First I just want to say that you are all so brave talking about this. It's perfect timing as this is my biggest issue right now - Communication. I too find it extremely painful to talk to my therapist due to childhood conditioning. I've only just stArted asking myself why and it's opened a can of worms. I feel like I've been run over by a bus lately and I haven't seen the therapist in 3 weeks as she went on vacation. I only hope that when I do see her that I can tell her all that I've remembered and been dealing with instead of sitting in frustrated silence. Maybe I will try that advice of speaking as if it happened to someone else and I'm telling a story. Sorry for venting.

Hello , here goes...

So my story is a bit twisty. I thought I led a normal life until about 3 years ago when I turned 30 (read this as either denial or I really didn't know that what I experienced was child abuse/neglect). I started dating a great guy, in fact so great that it made me realize how abusive my past bf's were. I started dissociating all the time, wasn't myself, flashbacks, got really depressed. Being with him triggered ptsd or something. I ended up in the hospital after self-injuring, I was out a week later. In the meantime I was seeing a therapist and we were talking about ptsd and I told her I was hearing voices. She immediately said I was DID. I went home, did research and got really upset. About a week later I was back in the psych ward.

Skip ahead 2 years and 3 more hospitalizations. I'm not seeing that therapist anymore, she was a quack, how could she dx someone anyway, she wasn't a psychiatrist? Why didn't she refer me to a Dr? My current dx is schizoaffective and c-ptsd, I am medicated, hallucination-free now, and rarely dissociate all thanks to meds. I've recently "come out of the fog" about my childhood and abusive adult relationships. Although things are foggy memory-wise as to what went on.

Today, when I'm around my parents I just... can't fathom what it was like growing up in that house with the two of them. In my amateur opinion mom is bpd and dad has some sort of severe mental illness (runs in the family). Anyway what triggered me coming out of the fog was on another forum someone told me to look up the term "Double Bind Theory." It totally blew my mind! My biggest problems today are communicating. I find it really hard to open my mouth and just talk. I feel like people don't want to listen to me, I have no worth and no voice. BTW I'm still dating that really great guy I mentioned, he's been my rock throughout this whole journey. BUT we had a conversation Sunday and he said I've got to talk to him more or he doesn't see a future for us.

The more I read about mental illness the more I am... surprised (no that's not the right word...) That everything is linked together. All of these illnesses are on a spectrum. PTSD, BPD, SZ, BP, D. They are all related and not that separate from one another.