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Messages - notalone

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1
Recovery Journals / Re: SaB's 2nd journal
« on: October 21, 2020, 12:47:47 AM »
Feeling abandoned and like a door slammed in your face is extremely painful. Sorry you are going through this.

2
Recovery Journals / Re: More Concrete Steps, More Therapy Homework
« on: October 21, 2020, 12:08:00 AM »
Bit by bit, step by step. Do take care of yourself, Blueberry.

3
Bach, your post brought up a lot of thoughts for me. I will try and be concise. I am at times afraid of others' anger. I can feel angry at certain people and events/issues. I don't really feel angry about my abuse, although I do feel anger about others' abuses. Decades ago I was pushed to be angry at the abusers. I think they were trying to empower me, but truthfully, it felt coercive. For now, I'm letting myself feel what I feel.

4
Marta,
I'm not having the same reaction as you are, but it makes sense to me that you find not having a choice and the threat of "punishment" to be triggering. Completely makes sense.

5
Employment / Re: Disclosure at work
« on: October 12, 2020, 09:50:00 PM »
How have they reacted to what you already disclosed?

6
Recovery Journals / Re: #8 - starting over
« on: October 12, 2020, 09:47:19 PM »
Yea! So glad your legs are not being affected and that you were able to take walks.

7
Recovery Journals / Re: Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time
« on: October 12, 2020, 06:31:04 PM »
Thank you, San & Tee. I appreciate your words. I still struggle with black or white thinking. However, no person is all good or all bad (although I may have encountered "all bad.") Therapists are people too and there are no perfect therapists. The previous T is not the first T that has been the cause of deep pain, which only adds to the complexity. So, I'm working on honoring the good that was in that therapeutic relationship and feeling the pain and working through the messages and internal processes in the painful interactions.

8
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal: Still Befriending My Parts.
« on: October 12, 2020, 06:18:56 PM »
 :grouphug:

9
Recovery Journals / Re: More Concrete Steps, More Therapy Homework
« on: October 12, 2020, 06:11:43 PM »
 :cheer: :cheer:   For going against messages of FOO and buying items that you decided are needed &/or helpful.

10
Recovery Journals / Re: Tee’s 2nd try journal* trigger warning *
« on: October 12, 2020, 05:57:41 PM »
Tee, I about for you.  :hug:

11
Recovery Journals / Re: Rainy Journal
« on: October 12, 2020, 05:56:19 PM »
Something I hate to admit about myself is that I can be unpleasant especially towards people that trigger me or people that don’t listen to me.
 

I can relate to this all too well. I just had that situation yesterday. The situation was about a 2 on a scale of 10, but with decades of not feeling heard by this person, my reaction was an eight. I don't like what I see in myself. I am understanding more where it is coming from, but there are no easy fixes. It's so complex both with my trauma, and in my case, the way that person relates.  :hug:

12
Recovery Journals / Re: A Safe Place To Be Visible
« on: October 10, 2020, 01:44:14 AM »
Hi Bach. Sounds like you are pretty frustrated. I'm still doing therapy via internet, and am so anxious to get back to seeing my therapist face to face. My therapist is trained and experienced in IFS and I do find it helpful.

13
Recovery Journals / Re: More Concrete Steps, More Therapy Homework
« on: October 09, 2020, 06:27:59 PM »
"Yes, it really was that bad". Now that information has got through to me on more than just a cognitive level.  :thumbup: :cheer:

Your heart and mind realization/acceptance of this seems very significant.

14
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal: Still Befriending My Parts.
« on: October 09, 2020, 06:22:38 PM »
 :hug:

To me, it sounds like you are doing a lot. Interacting with people can be very tiring.

I'm always amazed and impressed with you and the seminars that you attend. At this point in my journey, I fear I would be too easily triggered, and up to now I have not viewed any of those. I know that you desired and intended to attend some of the seminars, but as you said, there are limits to how much you can process.

Yea, that you are able to soothe some of your Parts. That is great and big progress.

I hear that it was scary and disorienting to loose time.  :hug:

15
Recovery Journals / Re: Allie's Archives: a recovery journal
« on: October 09, 2020, 06:07:19 PM »
Here's what I will give myself credit for:
1.  I journaled my feelings.
2.  I decided to just tell my sister congratulations instead of reaming into her immediately.
3.  I did vent to my husband only and not on social media.
4.  I admitted I was wrong.

 :cheer: :applause:

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