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Messages - SerenHybrid

#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New to cPTSD
December 05, 2019, 12:13:41 AM
I can't seem to reply to individual messages, so I hope I'm right in doing it this way.

Thank you all for your comments and welcome. It's certainly been very helpful to hear about other people's EFs, and I really identify with them feeling like my normal. 'normal' is something I've always really struggled with - what is my normal, what is my personality and what is my C-PTSD, and does it matter? I'm obsessed with what people think of me but I hate being praised, I never believe it and it doesn't feel safe. Thoughts about 'is this an EF?' tend to lead to a lot of overthinking which extends the EF.

I'm really muddling through my self at the moment, trying to be kind to my self but also not give up and withdraw from the world, to give myself motivational talks but also down time, and the constant balance between hibernating away from the world and making myself do the typical things that are recommended for depression - seeing friends, exercising etc.

I'd like to get more into the forums as they are such a rich resource. Does anyone have a rec for the best place to start?!
#2
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: First time
November 12, 2019, 10:48:02 PM
Hi there Sarals, I'm new too! Excited to speak to others and learn more about how to cope.
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / New to cPTSD
November 12, 2019, 10:43:53 PM
Hello everyone

I'm 33 and live in the South East of England. Between both parents I received at least three different types of abuse as I was growing up, although in very different ways. In my mid twenties I came to understand that what my father had done was abusive, and after several years he was sentenced to jail. It took much longer to recognise and accept that my mother has also been (and was currently) emotionally abusive due to her own mental health needs.

People who know my whole story would always have expected me to have PTSD, but as I never got typical flashbacks I didn't think it would apply. I do not have a clinical diagnosis, as mental health services are extremely underfunded in my area and I had to choose between seeing a psychiatrist for a diagnosis or receiving therapy. I have started using the diagnosis because it really helps to explain what is happening to others, and to myself. It's really only in the last few months that I have labelled these emotional flashbacks, having always experienced them.

It would be really helpful for me to hear about how other people experience emotional flashbacks, and what having C-PTSD means to you. I'm really struggling to get support from any professionals, and I've recently been signed off for 8 weeks and am desperate to get back to work.

I would also love to adopt a child some day, having worked with looked after children throughout my career. But I do worry about how this diagnosis affects parenting skills, particularly when it was developed in childhood.

Anyway, a long introduction, but the basics are that I would love to hear from anyone about their experiences, and I'm just so excited to find a community of people who are talking about this. Thank you!

SerenHybrid xx