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Hello fellow Survivors,

I stumbled upon this medical article analyzing the TRE technique: https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/tension-and-trauma-releasing-exercises-tre/

The writer makes a definite case against it, but, since its something that is of interest to us, I was thinking that it may be a good topic for discussion. Now, I personally, have not studied a lot about this, is there someone who tried it? Any thoughts?

Sending love and healing vibes!
❤️

Hi Saal,

Thank you for posting this article, it gives us hope that recovery is possible! However, I couldn't quite understand what their
trauma-focused inpatient treatment was?

Also,  TDCS sounds dangerous?  Can you please give more details about your experince with it? When did you strat using it, how often do you use it, what symptoms did it help with?

Sending love and healing vibes!
❤️

Hi Cray, and welcome to the forum!


I hope you will find valuable resources here, to aid in your recovery. Even for us, badly damaged folks, there is hope for improvement!

Hi holidayay,

Please don't feel bad for cutting out the narcissists from your life. You did the best thing you could do for yourself.

I also cut my narcissist father out of my life. You might say, that I am heartless for leaving the poor, old man behind, when he is now approaching a very vulnerable time in his life. But, I wonder, who abandoned whom first? Was he there when I was most vulnerable?

I can't speak for MM situation, it is difficult to diagnose someone that you don't know personally, and from actions taken out of context. I find her a bit creppy though.

Oh, and I wanted to add that , even though narcissists don't cut people out of their lives, they DO discard people that they find are no use to them. Two different actions that might look the same to an onlooker.

[Three Roses]

Three Roses, thank you for validating my feelings, feels good to be finally understood! 
BTW, I love your avatar, such a beautiful drawing! 

Thank you, bluepalm,Snowdrop, for your messages of support!

Sending kisses and hugs for those who like them !
😘

Hello dear friends,

I have done quite a bit of reading lately, and understand that establishing a sense of safety is essential to the process of healing from trauma, otherwise the brain is stuck in survival mode, blocking growth and learning new information. Many trauma informed therapists define this as the first step on our healing path.

However, I find this first step really difficult, if not impossible to achieve. So far, I have kicked my mother out of the house and sent her to live with my father, in order to reduce her exploiting, invasive and belitteling behaviour towards me. That wasn't doing me any good.

But now, I have another roblem, as I suffer from multiple incurable illnesess and chronic pain. I am in constant pain and can't properly take care of myself, clean the house, or preapre meals. The more I do around the house, the more pain I get. I can't afford to pay somebody to do the housework, as I am unable work. I get a little money from my mother to live, but that makes me feel very insecure also. Especially with the pandemic right now, as she is old, obese and has heart problems - she might die if she catches that virus.

I feel overwhelmed and stressed out by the whole situation. I feel again trapped, hopeless and helpless as I did in childhood.

So, how do you get to feeling some safety, when you can't provide or take care of yourself? How can you feel safe in your body, when your body is a constant source of torture and pain?

Thank you all for reading, sending love and rainbows across the board!
🌈❤️
 

[OceanStar, juliaguarde, notalone, Marian]

Thank you,  OceanStar, juliaguarde, notalone, Marian, for your kind words and warm welcome!

Sending love right back!

Great idea for a thread! 

I want to join the others in expressing my gratitude for all the hard work you are doing on behalf of our community.
I found invaluable information here on the forum and on the website. You must be a kind and compassionate soul! 😇

Many thanks, Kizzie!

Hello fellow Survivors,

I am happy to meet you all and look forward to knowing you better. 

I grew up in an alcoholic home, with a narcissistic father and an absent mother (frequently physically absent, as she was working up to three jobs to feed the familiy) but mostly mentally and emotionally absent, living in her own world. Long story short, I was abused by my father and used by mother, as she forced me early into a parentified role. She needed me to take care of her own unstable emotional needs, dote my father and bring up my brother. My earliest memories that I have are of me taking abuse in a totally passive, dissociated state.

Now, I am aproaching 40, and only recently managed to break with them. I went NC with my father and maintain minimal contact with my mother and brother. I am very sick, mentally and physically. I can't work, I suffer from fibromyalgia, endometriosis, repetitive strain injuries, I am in constant pain every day, and dependent on my mother for money. Emotionally, I'm a wreck, I am totally isolated, as I can't stand people anymore, I was retraumatized over and over again, don't know how to protect myself from exploitation, have no boundaries and zero assertiveness.

I have tried through the years to get help, from doctors and psychologists alike, but they only made my situation worse, they were either incapable to help or traumatized me even more. And accusing ME for not wanting to get better. As if being stuck in suffering every single day is something anybody would want! 

Now, I try to manage the situation on my own, I have been reading a lot from the OOTS book section, and have learned that I have all the signs and simptoms of complex trauma, and that there are specific therapeutic modalities that can help.

I am not giving up!