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Heyo, so I have nightmares all the time, like probably around 5 out of 7 nights. About half of the time, they stand in obvious relation to my trauma, but the other half are nonsensical, dystopian, horror movie type stuff with no obvious connection to my life even. (it should be noted that I practically never consume horror as a genre)
IDK, what's up with that? or why is my brain doing that? Do y'all have any ideas?

Hey,

so I am aware that my siblings and I endured psychological/emotional abuse from our parents, but there are some things that happened that I'm just not sure what to call. (And unfortunately I have this desire to categorize everything that happened, maybe to understand it better/confirm the realness of these experiences?)


(!!! Trigger warning for being locked in, physical violence and tickling!!!)

     

So one big thing that went on for a really long time is that my parents would lock my brother in his room as punishment, whenever he was "too much" or a bother, or when they didn't want to watch over him, as well as  whenever they left the house and during the night. This ranged from putting a piece of paper between the doorframe to physically locking the door.

They would also youse physical punishments, though very very rarely, which is why I'm not sure if this could be considered physical abuse.

One thing that happened to me that may sound a bit weird is that my father would tickle me. The reason I'm mentioning this is because I'm on the autism spectrum and therefore certain sensory experiences, like light touch, are incrediby overwhelming and painful to me. Like, I'd be legitimately suffering when he tickled me and very much express this by screaming/crying/trying to physically defending myself and it would still continue. He still does this thing where he'll lightly brush my arm or whatever and when I react he'll claim that it's an accident, but it feels like a deliberate action. The thing is that although i know I was hurting in these situations I still struggle to take this experience seriously because "its just tickling, he wasn't causing me any legitimate harm".




(!!!Trigger warning for being locked in, physical violence and tickling!!!)

What do you think of these occurences? There was clearly something going on, but what?

Hey!

I'm Joon, I moved out of my family's home during the pandemic to escape the abuse taking place and have been working on reclaiming my life since. I'm still figuring a lot out and I'm glad I found this forum, as there are many things that are still confusing and I'm looking forward to talking to others with similar experiences.

Looking forward to talking to y'all and I wish you all a good day!