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Topics - FindingPeace4

#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Life Before...
November 12, 2014, 06:51:21 PM
I have a situation where my husband's mother and sister have what we believe, along with our therapist and psychiatrist is a combination of NPD and BPD. We have had NC with them for the past around 3 years. We even moved away suddenly with our two young children, because of the constant harassment. My husband works long hours and most of the time I was left at home with my two young children feeling trapped, vulnerable, scared. I would run to my car, getting my kids in as fast as possible. Sometimes at the end of our long driveway, my husband's mother would stand waiting and then yell as we pulled away. She would walk by our house constantly. Making it known that she was there. Constant phone calls. Screaming/cursing messages. Crying/sobbing messages to follow. Constant e-mails. Constant letters on the door or in mailbox. Constant presents left at the door. We tried to get help from the police, but living in a small town, everyone knew everyone and didn't think it was a big deal. I felt helpless. It was terrifyingly creepy and made me a complete hermit. All of my shopping was done 40 minutes out of town to avoid confrontation. I even took my son to a preschool 45 minutes away, so that she could not find him. Not to mention she blabbed all over the town the sob story of she didn't understand why we wouldn't speak to them. We lived in a small town. Mostly EVERYONE was somehow related. All of my husband's friends believe her stories and the rest of the family, who has confirmed that they feel something is WAY off, choose to ignore us and avoid any kind of involvement.
After we moved, everything was going well. The stress in our lives had become nonexistent with regards to his family. Then it just hit me like a ton of bricks. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I take Klonopin and Zoloft. It took some time, but I started feeling better. Recently, I have been experiencing those same feelings I used to have when I was trapped in the house. I can't put my finger on what it is that made this anxiety return so strongly. There was an incident yesterday where my phone rang with "unknown caller" and it paralyzed me and consumed me the entire day, but I was already feeling anxious before that call. It just enhanced it. No message was left, but it still bothers me.
Up to this point, we don't believe they know where we live and we are in a secured access building, so I shouldn't be so anxious. I wish I could shake this awful feeling, but I just can't. It stays with me. We've been here for 7 months and most of the time I have been feeling good. I want to be a good wife, mom, daughter, etc., but I feel like this is taking over me again. I wasted so much time focusing on this that I have missed out on so many things with my kids. I was technically there, existing in the moment, but my mind was elsewhere for so long. I don't want to go back to that. I don't want to miss anymore of my life or my family.

Please...any suggestions on how to shake this. I'm desperate not to fall back.