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Topics - Kizzie

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1
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Three Good Things Today - Part 7
« on: October 02, 2020, 02:07:27 PM »
We're at Part 7 - proof positive we do heal    :yes:     :thumbup:   

Let us know what three good things happened in your life today.   :yes:

2
One of the 6 symptoms of CPTSD is emotional dysregulation and I don't think I understood exactly what that meant until I went back to therapy this part summer.

Yesterday when I was leaving the hospital a woman barged onto the elevator despite us telling her only 4 people were allowed.  She complained loudly about having had to wait for "like an hour" for one and that the rules for COVID were ridiculous and she didn't care. 

My BP went through the rook as apart from me there were two other seniors on the elevator and one 40 something, all more vulnerable to serious illness even death from the virus.  The woman was 20 something and "waited an hour" to get from the 4th to the main floor when there were stairs right beside the elevators.  :snort:

My mature side was struggling - While one side was telling me "she's young, still self-centred" the other side was quite ready to give her a push out the door before it closed.  Too late and down we went.  I did manage between clenched teeth to tell her that only 4 were allowed in each elevator at any one time for good reason and that she was putting us at risk by ignoring them.  Door opened and away she went.

I went to the COVID screeners and told them about it and asked them to put up larger, clearer signs (as I have done twice before) and basically got a shoulder shrug and "people are going to do what they are going to do".  OK BP going higher but managed to say that was a wholly inadequate response and reiterated that larger signs were needed outside and inside the elevators because I had encountered this numerous times having visited every day for three weeks.

All the way home, through the evening and even this morning I am angry and can't quite regulate that because it feels like another layer of selfishness, self-centredness, lack of responsibility and empathy for others, etc., etc., etc., added to what is there from the relational trauma I have endured and that lives on in me.

Would blasting/shaming her have helped?  I doubt it but it would have felt good and I so want to go back and let her have it I admit it.  That, however, is not regulating my emotions and in the long run I doubt I would continue to feel good.  I want to be regulated because I suffered through many hours of being overly angry.  I want to be calmer, step away and speak firmly and clearly about why that was wrong and what needs to change.  I did that but my angry side is still angry and upset. Hopefully today I will be able to stand back a bit more from all that, it's uncomfortable and I know that woman likely slept well while I tossed and turned a lot of the night. 

3
Having an Exceptionally Difficult Day / My Husband had a Stroke
« on: August 29, 2020, 01:24:32 PM »
He is in ICU, stable but intubated and sedated and it's horrifying to see and deal with.  I am coping but could really use some care and support.   :'(

4
Therapy / Info about Therapy
« on: August 26, 2020, 04:56:33 PM »
Relational Healing in Complex PTSD, by Pete Walker, Sept 2008

Those with Complex PTSD-spawned attachment disorders never learn the communication skills that engender closeness and a sense of belonging. When it comes to relating, they are typically plagued by debilitating social anxiety, and social phobia when they are at the severe end of the continuum of PTSD. Many of the clients who come through my door have never had a safe enough relationship. Repetition compulsion has compelled them to unconsciously seek out relationships in adulthood that traumatically reenact the abusive and/or abandoning dynamics of their childhood caretakers. For many such clients, we are their first legitimate shot at a safe and nurturing relationship; and if we are not skilled enough to create the degree of safety they need to begin the long journey towards developing good enough trust, we may be their last.

The Tyranny of Time: How Long Does Effective Therapy Really Take?, by Jonathan Shedler & Enrico Gnaulati, April 2020

It’s tempting to wonder if dropout rates reflect the poor job we’re doing in our cherished profession to train therapists to hone the human traits that make meaningful therapy possible and have mountains of research backing: empathy, understanding, genuine regard, and skill at building an alliance around the shared task of the therapy work. Clients need to know their therapist not only cares enough to listen, but knows how to listen carefully enough to hear what matters. Clients need plenty of space and time to tell their agonizing life stories in the nonlinear, scattershot way distressed humans are apt to do. Silences leave room for deeper feelings and realizations to bubble up. Subtle head nods, wry smiles, and knowing groans by the therapist are reminders to clients that they are being heard.


7
I've been asked to speak at a virtual Complex Trauma summit in March 2021 and have decided on the title "A Seat at the Table: Learning from the Lived Experience of Complex Trauma Survivors".   I don't have a lot of info about it but I believe the main attendees/participant will be trauma researchers and clinicians although I think they may also be inviting not-for-profit trauma organizations and other service providers. 

In any event, between now and Feb I'd love to hear what you think is important for me to speak about. This is it's an opportunity for us to raise our voices collectively and let trauma researchers and clinicians know about our needs/wants.  So if you could complete the sentence, "What I'd Like Kizzie to Speak About at the Trauma Summit is ...", that would be really helpful - tks!

8
Research & Advocacy / Something I Want Others to Know About CPTSD is ...
« on: August 15, 2020, 04:18:20 PM »
I thought I'd start a thread in which we speak about what we need/want/think/feel about having CPTSD to advocate for ourselves and raise awareness. 

You are welcome to substitute the word "others" to something more specific such as "my family/children/friends/therapist.


9
Art / MOVED: Dads birthday today
« on: August 11, 2020, 05:11:19 PM »

10
Member Guidelines (PLEASE READ FIRST) / MOVED: Hi everyone
« on: August 08, 2020, 02:27:05 PM »

11
Birthday / Happy Birthday Slim!
« on: August 01, 2020, 06:08:09 PM »
I saw today is your birthday on Twitter Slim and wanted to post the traditional OOTS emoticon wish for a happy one  ;D

:fireworks:    :cake:   :phoot:   :party:   :fireworks:

12
Announcements / Countries Members are From
« on: August 01, 2020, 06:01:53 PM »
    I started keeping track of where members are from a month or two ago and it's quite the list:

    • Australia
    • Austria
    • Bahrain
    • Brazil
    • Canada
    • Costa Rica
    • Denmark
    • Finland
    • France
    • Germany
    • Greece
    • Iceland
    • Ireland
    • Israel
    • Italy
    • Madagascar
    • Mexico
    • Netherlands
    • New Zealand
    • Norway
    • Poland
    • South Africa
    • Spain
    • Sweden
    • Switzerland
    • Thailand
    • United Kingdom
    • United States

    If your country isn't on the list let me know and I'll add it.

13
Announcements / New Sub Forum for Free Online Trauma Conferences
« on: July 23, 2020, 03:40:14 PM »
There's seems to be an increasing number of free online conferences we can attend so I've created a separate child board for them here - https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=272.0.  If you come across one and would like to share the link, please post it in there.  Tks!

14
A free 10-day online Trauma Skills Summit Aug 17–26, 2020 - https://product.soundstrue.com/trauma-skills-summit/register/#a_aid=5eebf0b49c122&a_bid=5b1a40a8

Description:

Trauma touches all of our lives. And right now we’re collectively experiencing the effects of traumatic events with global impacts. The challenges of trauma are real—but there is hope.

With the Trauma Skills Summit, renowned psychotherapist Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein invites you to participate in a transformational 10-day online event to explore trauma—what it is, how it impacts us, and how we can cultivate skills to grow from adversity.

Join 24 premier teachers in the field of trauma recovery to discover:

- Skills, practices, and tools to develop greater resiliency, inner peace, healthier relationships, and more—for self-healing and working with others

- Explorations of the many types of trauma we encounter—intergenerational, personal, and collective

- Fascinating interviews with renowned trauma healing experts—covering topics such as parenting after trauma, cultivating resilience, leadership in times of trauma, somatic healing, trauma-sensitive meditations, and much more


15
The Cafe / The Potting Shed - Part 2
« on: June 25, 2020, 03:58:06 PM »
Continuing the potting shed thread here with Part 2.  The thread was started by Sunbear to talk about any and all things to do with gardening.

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