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Topics - Inky

#1
Neglect/Abandonment / Results of physical neglect
February 18, 2018, 06:34:36 PM
I've been dealing with some serious dental issues again and I wondered if those who suffered neglect wanted to unload some physical outcomes. A lot of these never occurred to me as a big deal until looking back and realizing most kids probably had more attentive parents to help or teach basic skills.
And of course they're super embarrassing so I feel even more shame about them!
— I had lice for at least a year. I think a lot of kids get lice but I could not get rid of it, and of course I was in a new school just like every year. My habit of never complaining about anything to anyone at least kept me from getting mocked at school, but it felt like it was never going to go away despite my mom knowing.
— I remember waking up once and realizing something was really wrong with my ear and hearing. It turns out I had so much wax build-up that it had blocked my hearing.
— one time I got a perm (old school I know). You have to sit there to let it set for a long time and I got this huge acid burn on my neck. Another example of my resistance to complain or self-advocate. This isn't really my parents fault, but it's evidence of how I had learned to deal w/ issues.
— and of course my teeth. Things were way too effed up to get me to a dentist or practice regular dental care, and my shame about the state they're in now often keeps me from getting help. Sigh.
Weird stuff. :Idunno:
#2
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / How long do EFs last?
February 08, 2018, 02:43:38 AM
I'm assuming it varies, but I've had day-long episodes with waves of panic and anxiety along with feeling small and helpless. I've used some of the coping methods on here and feel slightly better, only to have it flare up again. It would help to hear others' experiences in terms of length.  :)

Recently I've noticed a really telling sign that I'm in an EF. Whenever I start to feel incredibly guilty about the amount of time I spend with my pet rabbit, that's when I know I'm vulnerable and likely in an ef. I have a single bunny, and they need more attention than bonded bunnies. I also was neglected as a child. I spend time daily with my bun George but I also struggle with depression, so I often want to hide in bed. George has a big old cage and he has a whole bun-proofed room with hay and toys that he gets the run of from noon to 8 or so daily.

Anyway, no matter what, when I'm in an EF, the effort I put in is never enough. I'm a terrible bunny mother and my dude is horribly lonely. Even writing this out makes me feel guilty and upset, and I just hung out with him all afternoon and evening. When I am healthy or in a better emotional place, it doesn't affect me as much. It's become a helpful indicator, even though I still experience the guilt and sadness.  :Idunno:
#3
Neglect/Abandonment / Neglect
March 18, 2017, 02:24:52 AM
I so appreciate hearing your stories on this message board and being able to share my experiences with you.  :) Because I dealt almost solely with neglect due to traumatized parents, I often look forward to new posts in the neglect/abandonment thread when I check the board (ugh, that prob sounds terrible.) Its the connection I crave. Your posts always make me feel connected, like I'm not crazy or strange and alone -- like there are others who know my struggle.

Anyway, this blog makes me feel the same way I feel when I read posts here. I hope it can help others. I've commented a few times on her blog cause I'd love to hear more of her story. Triggers abound in all of her posts, so be careful. Also please let me know if it's wrong of me to link to a blog. I just want to share something that helped me.  :)

**************This link has TRIGGERS**************

https://mercedesthayer.com/

******************************************

#4
AV - Avoidance / Having trouble applying cbt
March 13, 2017, 01:38:19 AM
Does anyone have tips for someone who struggles with basic cbt to stop dissociation? I'll plunge into identifying three smells, three things I see, things I can touch, etc. but I get really bored and then distracted and I forget where I was and then I get frustrated... :stars:
Any help/guidance appreciated :)